Item Description: A pair of cordless headphones that constantly play songs by The Beatles despite the lack of a music or energy source.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████ concert, California, United States
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A ballpoint pen. Decimal points in numbers written with the pen will periodically move for the next 314 days.
Date of Recovery: 11-03-20██
Location of Recovery: Accounting department at Site-11.
Current Status: Stored in Low-Value Item Wing of Storage Site-23.
Item Description: A computer file with the name "~DFFF1C.tmp". The file has a negative filesize of -2 bytes; its presence on a storage medium increases the space available. Copies of the file retain this property, but editing the file changes its size to 0 bytes.
Date of Recovery: 05-21-20██
Location of Recovery: Dr. ████'s home computer
Current Status: Stored in Dr. ████'s computer, with several backups on portable media.
Item Description: A three-sided die; no matter how it is observed, subjects will report that it definitely has three sides, despite this being physically impossible.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: A tabletop gaming convention in [REDACTED].
Current Status: Sliced in half, yielded two one-sided dice.
Item Description: An adjustable-height stainless steel floor fan of unknown make and manufacture. The fan will only function when exposed to music written by an artist or artists that no persons within hearing range have knowledge of.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1997
Location of Recovery: Jacksonville, Florida
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A pound cake that emits the sound of a young girl laughing when being cut.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2012
Location of Recovery: █████'s Bakery Shop in Wyoming
Current Status: Kept in cold storage at Site-17
Item Description: A slate sculpture of a human hand and a section of forearm, standing approximately 0.5m tall and weighing 50kg. The object's orientation cannot be changed and acts as a perfect compass - the thumb always points due magnetic north.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2012
Location of Recovery: Raid on a Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd. warehouse in London, UK.
Current Status: Staff gardens at Sector-25.
Notes: Accompanying recovered documentation indicates that MC&D was having difficulty finding a buyer for the object.
Item Description: A 235-kg █████ █████-brand moped. When traveling at speeds in excess of 30 km/h, it displays inertial qualities consistent with an object of significantly higher mass, generally between 350 and 600 kg, depending on speed.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1999
Location of Recovery: ████████, Germany
Current Status: In storage
Item Description: A large whiteboard. Should a subject write a problem on the white board, it will immediately begin to form a chart organizing the information pertinent to that problem. The object will then form connections between the information and attempt to come up with a solution. However, it will also write comments regarding the subject's intellect and physical appearance. These are almost always derogatory.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: █████████, Texas
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A Nokia 1208 cell phone with exactly 2 bars of reception at all times, regardless of location, situation, or condition of the phone. Other functions do not differ from normal cell phones.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████ village, Astrakhan district, found in possession of [DATA REDACTED]
Current Status: In storage.
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Log Of Anomalous Items
Non-FictionThe SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items...
