Item Description: A rubber ball, 5 cm in diameter, that slowly rolls toward the closest living human. Running it through a metal detector showed no signs of electronic parts.
Date of Recovery: 07-02-2017
Location of Recovery: The break room, rolling around the feet of annoyed personnel.
Current Status: In a small glass container, duct taped to Dr. ████'s desk.
Item Description: 30 black baseball hats. When a human puts on one of the hats, The logo of their least favorite Major League Baseball (MLB) team will appear on the front. If the wearer does not possess any knowledge of the MLB, the hat will remain blank.
Date of Recovery: 07-██-2017
Location of Recovery: ██████, New York, USA
Current Status: One hat was incinerated, no anomalous properties found in remains. The other 29 hats are in the Site-19 lounge.
Notes: Why does no one here know about the MLB? - Dr. ████
Item Description: A mouse pad that renders any computer mouse useless.
Date of Recovery: 1-15-20██
Location of recovery: Stock Exchange Office, New York
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: No matter how funny you think it would be, do not replace another researcher's mouse pad with this. - Dr. ██████
Item Description: A sewer grate that appears to be invisible in any photo taken on a digital camera.
Date of Recovery: 8-10-2017
Location of Recovery: Kyoto, Japan
Current Status: Under surveillance
Item Description: A nuclear warhead that constantly plays dubstep. The songs are original to the warhead and played at 95 dB.
Date of Recovery: 5-24-2011
Location of Recovery: [CLASSIFIED IN CONJUNCTION WITH UNITED KINGDOM AUTHORITIES]
Current Status: Installed as Site-25 on-site nuclear safeguard
Note: Before containment, a number of songs produced were released online crediting "DJ Dirty Nuke" as their creator. We would like to speak with whoever is responsible for their release, but the songs themselves need no containment. - Dr. Wall
Item Description: A grey suitcase. Results of X-ray imaging will indicate that illegal contraband exist within its conpartments, despite any not physically existing.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2017
Location of Recovery: █████████ , Canada
Current Status: In storage within Site-███.
Item Description: A small grey blanket with red and blue stripes. Despite the soft appearance, it feels like standard issue sandpaper.
Date of Recovery: 5-2-2014
Location of Recovery:██████, Canada
Current Status: Inside the office of Dr. Quinton In Site-73 storage.
Notes: D-7295 used this as a weapon to injure several researchers during low-level containment breach, requesting to move item to Site-73 storage. - Dr. Quinton
Item Description: A standard dinner fork that when used will cause whatever it has been stabbed into to change into medium rare cooked steak.
Date of Recovery: 7/26/17
Location of Recovery: Tampa, Florida
Current Status: In Area-108 standard storage locker.
Notes: During a low-level containment breach caused by the Chaos Insurgency, item was taken out of containment by an escaped Class-D and used on several agents. Class-D was terminated and item returned to storage.
Item Description: An acoustic guitar that will play any song, with vocals in Kurt Donald Cobain's voice.
Date of Recovery: 4/5/94
Location of Recovery: Seattle, Washington
Current Status: Currently in Dr. Brim's possession.
Notes: I'll be taking this to my office and keeping it secure, at least someone will enjoy the present he left us all. -Dr. Brim
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Log Of Anomalous Items
Non-FictionThe SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items...
