Item Description: A VHS Player ████ when described, changes the letters of random words ██ any description █████ it to the Unicode █████████ known as a 'FULL BLOCK' (█). While the ███ Player itself ███ not been observed ██ show any anomalous ███████ aside from this.
████ of Recovery: 09-04-2015
Location ██ Recovery: São Paulo, Brazil
Current Status: Contained in ███████ on ████-18.
Item Description: A common goldfish (Carassius auratus), genetically within normal parameters for its species. It is in no way anomalous.
Notes: Dr. Serion is no longer permitted to edit this document without O5-Approval.
Item Description: A common goldfish (Carassius auratus) that sporadically explodes, before spontaneously reassembling. The detonations are sufficient to shatter aquarium glass, and have so far killed 10.
Date of Recovery: 02-05-2016
Location of Recovery: House of Dr. Serion, NY, United States
Current Status: Kept in plastic bowl in the level 2 testing lab of Site-24. Fed twice daily.
Item Description: A plastic toddler spoon that attempts to gouge out the eyes of anyone who comes within six (6) meters of it.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2016
Location of Recovery: ████ ███████, Colorado
Current Status: In storage
Notes: The spoon is neither sharp enough nor heavy enough to do any real damage, just slightly uncomfortable. Goggles are recommended to anyone working with it.████
Item Description: A standard MPK5 SMG. When fired, it instead emits a high-pitched voice that attempts to mimic the expected sound of the weapon firing.
Date of Recovery: 09-18-2012
Location of Recovery: Lynchwood, ███ ████
Current Status: In storage; pending destruction
Item Description: A 2kg block of gorgonzola cheese, which will continuously emit 1970s disco-funk at 65dB when within 12m of any male with a moustache.
Date of Recovery: 01-01-2000
Location of Recovery: AltMod Discoteque, Antwerp, Belgium
Current Status: In storage at all-female Site 12
Item Description: A 20cm x 20cm x 20cm wooden block that casts a shadow shaped like a common house cat.
Date of Recovery: 02-03-2016
Location of Recovery:Lisbon, Portugal
Current Status: Dr. ████████'s office
Item Description: A Slinky able to turn corners.
Date of Recovery: 01-03-2016
Location of Recovery: Toronto, Canada
Current Status: Undergoing testing in CN Tower stairwell
Notes: Also crosses short landings, up to 1.4m, as long as there are more stairs.
Item Description: A human brain in a mobile vat of nutrients, equipped with camera and speech synthesizer. It claims to be Zargox Quaglofan, 23rd century secret agent on a temporal mission to prevent the rise of the Insectoid Empire in 1976.
Date of Recovery: 09-23-2011
Location of Recovery: A crater at Site 136
Current Status: Head of Records, Site 136
Notes: It appears to be delusional, but it's a very good file clerk. - Dr. Danger
Item Description: A titanium spork. Any food eaten with this utensil will be perceived to be slightly less spicy than the maximum the eater is readily capable of tolerating. No chemical changes to the food, or physiological changes to the user are noted, this item only affects perception.
Date of Recovery: 04-16-2016
Location of Recovery: The Site 88 cafeteria.
Current Status: In the Site 88 general storage wing, small item storage locker.
Notes: Correction — It's supposed to be in the storage locker, but keeps ending up back in the cafeteria utensil rack. I better not catch whoever keeps doing this. - Dr. Rachasthani
Item Description: A toilet. Any animal that comes into contact with the toilet will burst into laughter even if they don't have the vocal cords to do so.
Date of Recovery: 02-12-2005
Location of Recovery: The Site-66 bathroom.
Current Status: Broken after Dr. █████ dropped item during transport to Site-66 Storage Room.
Item Description: A white sock that whenever worn, turns out to be inside out, completely independent from how to sock was actually put on.
Date of Recovery: 01-04-2002
Location of Recovery: Originally in possession of Agent ██████
Current Status: In storage
Item Description: A brown paper grocery bag. When placed on the head of a human being, the wearer's face cannot be revealed in any way other than removing the bag on their own. Any other attempts will remove the bag, only to reveal another bag underneath, still covering the head of the wearer. Removed copies no longer display anomalous effect. Attempts to cut holes in the bag have failed. Deceased subjects do not seem to trigger anomalous effect in the object.
Date of Recovery: 04-13-2009
Location of Recovery: A ████████ Supermarket location in ██████, ██, in employee break room.
Current Status: In storage
Item Description: A retractable pen with a spring-based clicker. In addition to the two states such a pen would normally have (retracted and extended), there exists a 'third' state where the pen tip appears to retract and extend again; when attempting to write in this third state, the pen will start making a continuous, bass-heavy noise as it makes contact with the writing surface. Disassembly of the pen has revealed no origin as to the source of the sound; the anomalous effect only functions when the pen is completely reassembled.
Date of Recovery: 08-16-2015
Location of Recovery: ███████████ High School, █████ USA
Current Status: In storage, Site-23
Item Description: A copper fountain in a public space outside [REDACTED]. During the daytime, the fountain does not display any anomalous properties; however, at any point in the night after 22:30 when the fountain is not being observed, all coins at the bottom of the fountain will inexplicably disappear. Inexplicably, this will only occur if there are at least 1945cm3 of water in the fountain.
Date of Recovery: 16-02-20██
Location of Recovery: ██████, Czech Republic
Current Status: Disassembled in a Foundation-owned warehouse.
Notes: The groundskeeper at the location of recovery was aware of the fountain's anomalous property, but didn't report it because 'it made his job easier'. I sympathize, but still, with the length of time he's been exposed to the anomaly, I'd recommend a Class-E amnestic for him. - Agent █████
I'll look into clearing it with the Ethics Committee. And as for the people telling me this should receive full SCP status - it's a fountain that eats your coins. Nothing more. - Dr. Ryken
YOU ARE READING
Log Of Anomalous Items
Non-FictionThe SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items...
