Item Description: A seemingly standard U.S. quarter. When flipped, it has a 33% chance of landing on a third side not normally visible. This third side depicts an engraving similar in appearance and format to the special state quarters; however, it depicts a state that does not exist. The state depicted is called "New Caulde", and according to the coin, was founded in 1919. The engraving depicts a hammer and a nail over a stylized image of a tree.
Date of Recovery: 03-10-1989
Location of Recovery: Las Vegas, Nevada
Current Status: In storage. Testing must be approved by Dr. Cox.
Item Description: A table with a circular area approximately 20 cm in diameter that remains at a constant 37°C, no matter the surrounding temperatures.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Current Status: In the Site-19 Break Room for use by staff (request to move to storage pending)
Item Description: A relatively small maple tree that shows effects opposite to the season currently underway. There are no ill effects on its health in spite of being unable to sufficiently photosynthesize due to the anomaly.
Date of Recovery: 07-21-1984
Location of Recovery: A park in █████
Current Status: Relocated to an outdoor compartment of Site-██. Object retains anomalous property after relocation.
Item Description: A complex ritual which, when performed correctly, causes the manifestation of a single pepperoni pizza. Ritual was originally written on a receipt from a local pizzeria for one large pepperoni pizza.
Date of Recovery: 11-16-1993
Location of Recovery: Phoenix, Arizona
Current Status: Original receipt is kept in a low security filing cabinet at Site-17.
Notes: Investigation of pizzeria showed no signs of further anomalous activity.
Item Description: A colony of lesser flamingo (Phoenicopterus minor), numbering 1441 in population at time of recovery, whose members were mutually intangible. Breeding attempts resulted in completely intangible offspring.
Date of Recovery: 04-18-1952
Location of Recovery: ██████████, Namibia
Current Status: All known members are deceased. The remains displayed no anomalous properties and were incinerated.
Item Description: An animate common iguana made completely of plant matter. Iguana was unable to reproduce as no female version of the creature had been found. Consumed insect matter.
Date of Recovery: 04-12-1983
Location of Recovery: Sewers beneath ███████
Current Status: Died at average age; genetic information stored at Site-██.
Item Description: A worn out dartboard that cannot be hit by any player, regardless of skill level. Despite missing, the user will believe that they scored a bullseye and boast about their skills for a period of time between 4 and 110 minutes.
Date of Recovery: 09-27-1963
Location of Recovery: A pub in Cork, Ireland
Current Status: In storage at Site-77
Item Description: A small toy in the shape of a domesticated pig with wings that animates at will. Item behaves in a manner similar to its biological counterpart, with the only exception being that it uses flight as its primary mode of transportation.
Date of Recovery: 05-10-2001
Location of Recovery: Houston, Texas
Current Status: Contained in storage on Site-18.
Item Description: A chocolate-dipped granola bar that, when consumed, seems to have the missing portion regrow on one end of the bar.
Date of Recovery: 02-17-2015
Location of Recovery: ███████, Ontario
Current Status: In storage at Site-██'s cafeteria. Flattened, however anomalous effects haven't been nullified.
Note: Researchers and their brains. Always wanting to know more... smashed my damn chocolate bar in the process. - Agent █████
Item Description: A cardboard box. All physical documentation of item spontaneously translocates to inside the box itself.
Date of Recovery: 01-01-2016
Location of Recovery: ████, Georgia, USA
Current Status: In storage
Addition: Attempts to keep audio-only recordings resulted in the recording devices moving to inside the box.
Item Description: A piece of information that when put through all mediums tested (image, txt, .mp3, ant genome, AIAD, [REDACTED]), alters itself to produce the same description/image of a purple flower.
Date of Recovery: 04-02-2016
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED]'s digital camera, after being struck by lighting.
Current Status: Contained in Anomalous Data Storage Drive-14.
Item Description: A paper that causes every other word written on it to be turned into an expletive.
Date of Recovery: 01-24-19██
Location of Recovery: ████████ High School
Current Status: In Site-██'s storage locker.
I fucking don't damnit what the shit is. I'm fucking on shit right ass and shits fine. Dr.████
Entry Portrayal: An antique lexicon which necessitates readers to communicate in unnecessary serpentine synonyms after perusing it. Periodically synonyms interdict the prepense definition.
Occasion of Retrieval: 13-02-19██ A.D.
Venue of Retrieval: ██████ Athenaeum, Romania
Contemporary State: In stockpile
Notation: Human resources who I toil with are now necessitated to use dictionaries when in a tête-à-tête with me. - Dr. M██████
YOU ARE READING
Log Of Anomalous Items
Non-FictionThe SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items...
