Item Description: A silver wristwatch which, when laid on any surface, will soft boil an egg placed on it. No other anomalous properties recorded.
Date of Recovery: 05-03-20██
Location of Recovery: ██████████, New Mexico.
Current Status: In the possession of Dr. Michael ███████ for personal use.
Notes: This is absolutely useless; however, it does make preparing lunch at work easier as I don't have to wait to use the stove in the kitchen. No, you can't have it, it's mine! - Dr. Michael ███████
Item Description: An open case of 20 tubes of hair gel. Application of the hair gel to the scalp of any primate will cause hair to grow, recede, or change length until the primate's hair resembles a 1980s style mullet.
Date of Recovery: 08-12-2016
Location of Recovery: Basement of █████ Barber Shop, Waxahachie, TX
Current Status: In Site-17 storage.
Notes: Product appears to be mislabeled. All packaging indicates the product will give the user a 1950s pompadour.
Item Description: A large conch seashell, 30 cm in length. When the opening is held to a human ear, a dial tone is produced from within the shell. No method of dialing the item (if such is possible) has yet been determined.
Date of Recovery: 04-05-2012
Location of Recovery: Obtained from the seashore of Mindil Beach, Australia.
Current Status: Functioning as an aquarium decoration in Site-82.
Item Description: A wireless black PlayStation 4 controller that will connect to Nintendo 64 entertainment consoles and nothing else. Tests have shown that all internals of the controller are unmodified and correctly programmed yet there is still no understanding of how N64s receive the signal broadcasted by the controller.
Date of Recovery: 01-24-2016
Location of Recovery: Obtained from a house in █████████, California
Current Status: In storage. Request for transfer to Area 43 break room pending.
Item Description: A mundane hockey puck. Slides across all surfaces it is placed on, with no observable friction.
Date of Recovery: 03-04-2016
Location of Recovery: Surrendered by the ice hockey club of Darwin, Australia.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A coverless book with 50 pages, when opened it will display pages from different parts of different novels and books, there are no set patterns to what pages that appears in it. The pages will randomize again if book is closed and reopened.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1988
Location of Recovery: On a bookshelf in a public library located in ████████, Hong Kong.
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A small white dresser. Upper drawer contains different assortment of items each time it is opened, usually consistent with mundane drawer clutter. Any items placed inside are no longer present when the drawer is closed and reopened. The lower drawer similarly shifts contents, but instead is always uniformly filled with a single substance or collection of identical objects; previously observed examples include shale gravel, pine pitch, unmarked gold ingots, 1985 US pennies with identical scratches and surface features, 150 chrome steel objects of uncertain function, Bing cherries, and crushed woodwind reeds.
Date of Recovery: 10-14-2003
Location of Recovery: ███████, █████, during a raid on a known Marshall, Carter, and Dark warehouse.
Current Status: Low-risk Anomalous Item storage.
Notes: After brief testing, item was determined to be non-hazardous. Request for further testing as a possible disposal for hazardous items is pending.
Item Description: A minor infohazard. Anything describing its physical appearance will automatically be redacted.
Date of Recovery: 04-16-2016
Location of Recovery: Reykjavik, Iceland
Current Status: Placed within storage.
Item Description: A karaoke machine. Anyone who talks in the microphone will have their voice changed to that of a Japanese teenage girl, with anything spoken or sung being automatically translated as well. The voice itself varies slightly from person to person.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2002
Location of Recovery: A nightclub in █████ Prefecture
Current Status: Stationed at Site-32's break room for recreation.
Item Description: A self-reviewing notebook. A short piece of criticism will be written after any text written in the book. As well as reviewing fiction for its value as a novel, it appears to be able to fact check both fiction and nonfiction, and will suggest potential improvements.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: A book of the week club in ██ Spain.
Current Status: In storage at Site-14. Suggestion for use as an aid to research in anomalous and mainstream studies pending approval.
Item Description: A single feather that appears to be constantly changing in color, the feather's color seems to change approximately every two seconds. When music is played within a 12 meter radius, the feather reacts to this stimuli by changing colors much quicker than normal, much like a strobe light, the speed of which it changes seems to vary depending on the speed, beat, tone, and tempo of the song/music being played.
Date of Recovery: 07-2█-20██
Location of Recovery: Found in what appears to be an old and abandoned club in ██████, Philippines.
Current Status: Kept in storage and used during Christmas parties.
Item Description: A maths textbook whose contents can only be remembered by smoking the pages. Pages regenerate after thirty minutes.
Date of Recovery: 16-7-2010
Location of Recovery: █████ █████, Australia
Current Status: In storage
Item Description: A man in his mid-30's, capable of twirling any object on his index finger at extreme speeds, regardless of size, mass, chemical composition, or shape of said object in relation to his own body.
Date of Recovery: 03-06-2012
Location of Recovery: Sunderland, Massachusetts
Current Status: In low-threat humanoid containment, Site-12
Item Description: A 4oz cup of ████ brand applesauce, contents nonperishable. Expiration date always matches current date.
Date of Recovery: 6-18-2016
Location of Recovery: Gold Hill, Oregon
Current Status: Inadvertently consumed by Junior Researcher ██████. ██████ suffered mild indigestion but recovered within 12 hours.
Item Description: A goldfish which produces a constant stream of fresh water from its mouth at the rate of 10.9 L/s.
Date of Recovery: 12-10-2016
Location of Recovery: Rhodehampton, New South Wales
Current Status: Forcibly imploded following a blockage in the drainage system for its tank.
Item Description: A 3D jigsaw sphere whose pieces, when disassembled, form two identical copies of the same sphere. Lost pieces of an individual sphere will occasionally be found inside another sphere when disassembling it.
Date of Recovery: 07-03-2016
Location of Recovery: Bowral, New south Wales
Current Status: Initially, three completed puzzles were recovered – the pieces for fifteen more were found inside those spheres. Further testing has resulted in the construction of four additional whole spheres.
Item Description: A cube constructed of concrete which will produce a sap from the ████ tree every two to four hours. Sap has been tested but has proven to have no anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: ██-20-1998
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], Switzerland
Current Status: In the storage of Area 01 Site 17 with weekly cleaning from Janitorial Crews. Personnel under the security level of two (2) should not be permitted near the object following the near destruction of the object by Dr. James Write.
Note: I'm surprised that the sap has no anomalous properties. I mean, where does it come from? How is the sap made? Maybe it's a hidden form of teleportation! - Dr. Houston
VOUS LISEZ
Log Of Anomalous Items
Non-FictionThe SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items...
