Item Description: A purple stress ball that when squeezed causes the person to become contemplative about their recent successes and failures in life.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: In the office drawer of a psychiatrist by the name of Dr. P████ Laymond.
Current Status: Torn to shreds by a loose pet corgi. Reconstruction is under consideration.
Notes: Is this thing even necessary? Why did we even take it in the first place? Why did Rachel dump me last night? WHY??? – Agent R████████
Item Description: A Basset Hound capable of limited human-like speech - only vocalization is the word "dude", in various accents and tones of voice.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████, California
Current Status: Held in Site 33 kennels.
Item Description: A skee-ball arcade game dating to the late 1930s. Whenever 850 or more points are scored in a single frame, the ticket dispenser releases that number of live cockroaches.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1943
Location of Recovery: ████████ & Sons Games, Coney Island, New York
Current Status: In containment.
Item Description: A key that can unlock the door to any empty, unmonitored room, but with the side effect of a skeleton of a random small mammal appearing inside the room and falling out the door as it is opened.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2006
Location of Recovery: ███████, London
Current Status: In containment.
Item Description: A treadmill that will suddenly increase the speed to the maximum (15km/h) whenever stopped before the pre-programmed session is over. Unplugging the machine gave the same result.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2012
Location of Recovery: ██████████████ Health Center, Seoul, Korea
Current Status: On ██-██-2012 object was found to be broken, and it was revealed that many agents had used it for exercise since its containment. After the repair, object did not display anomalous properties any longer, and thus relocated to Foundation health center.
Item Description: A generic baseball cap that can only be worn 'properly'. Any attempts to wear it sideways or backwards cause it to forcibly remove itself from the wearer's head.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: ███ ████, New York
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A single copy of the book The Principles of Knitting. When the chapter detailing various problems encountered while knitting is read, the user experiences these problems the next time they attempt to knit. Problems extend to types of knitting not otherwise possible in three dimensions, leading to widespread tangling.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2012
Location of Recovery: Baltimore, MD, USA
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A shipment of 350 pre-packaged loaves of sliced potato bread consisting only of end slices. Viewing the bread causes disorientation and vestibular dysfunction.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2010
Location of Recovery: Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Current Status: Shredded during containment breach. Shreds only caused slight ringing in ears in 11% of test subjects. Remains in storage.
Item Description: A VHS recording of the 1992 vice-presidential debates, in which Vice President Dan Quayle appears to have been replaced with a brown quail (Coturnix ypsilophora), which displays normal avian behavior on the recording. Behavior of the other subjects on the tape is unaltered. Forensic video analysis has not revealed any evidence of editing.
Date of Recovery: 11-17-2012
Location of Recovery: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Current Status: In Dr. Q█████'s office.
Item Description: A yellow "rubber ducky" bath toy. When a subject explains in detail a practical problem to the item as though it were a living anthropomorphic duck, they will feel that they have a better understanding of said problem, and are often immediately able to come up with a solution.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-199█
Location of Recovery: ███ ████, CA, USA.
Current Status: In display at Site-17's Office Block, for use by all personnel.
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Log Of Anomalous Items
غير روائيThe SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items...
