𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚈𝚘𝚞 || 𝚉𝚊𝚋𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚕 𝚍𝚎 𝙹𝚎𝚜ú𝚜||

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ ２３

Bellatrix

Life is a thing that, for as much as we pretend to know, we never will. Things change so fast that, most of the times, we're not able to cope with them.

Take me for an example. I had everything  I ever wished for at that moment, the perfect friends, a happy life and a wonderful boyfriend, apparently, and it all crumbled like a snap of fingers. Suddenly I had lost the love of my life and years of memories.

You don't own your life, your life owns you, you just have to follow its rules and accept them as they are.

•••

I was sitting in this very spot, an ache in my heart was the only thing I felt as memories of me being here came rushing in.
I remember, I remember it all now.
The day of the accident,  the fact that Zabdiel was getting married. I remember it all now.
But the feeling I once had for him, I didn't felt that anymore, and that's when the tears and sobbing came to me, am I pathetic for crying over not feeling the same way about a boy? Yes, I am.

'Bella, are you okay?' I saw livy entering the closet, but the tears in my eyes didn't let me see her completely. She quickly sat beside me, pulling me closer to her chest as I cried my soul off.

I pushed her away, and in between sobs I tried to tell her I remember everything.

'I remember everything liv, I remember everything' She stood there in shock, but still embracing me in a hug.

'Shhhh, it will be alright '

•••

It's been two months since I remembered everything. My mother and Olivia have been telling me to go back to therapy, that it would help, and weeks of thinking about that, I've finally went back.

'How are you feeling today Bella?'
Currently I'm at therapy. The doctor that has been following me since the accident thought it would be better if I went to therapy since day one, I came here two or three times, but I thought I didn't need this , but now I think I do.

'I remembered everything' I wish I could have said anything more, but right now, words aren't my biggest friend.

'What led you to remember all of those things?' Mrs. Gladstone leaned to me, never moving too much from her seat.

'I was packing my bags to go back to Miami, and I went in my closet to pick my clothes, when I saw this grey box hidden in the middle of my sweatpants,  I never saw that box before so I was curious. Once I opened it I saw Polaroid pictures, most of them where me and Zabdiel, and party bracelets and a necklace, but what triggered my memories to come back was a picture of me and Zabdiel.' I felt tears coming to my eyes as I began to think about what I was about to say ' What hurts me the most is that,  I was hoping that, once I had my memories back, I would feel the same way about him, but I don't feel nothing more than I did before I had them back.'

' There's one thing we human beings must know. Memories and feelings are two completely different things. We associate memories to feelings. For example you probably remember your first broken bone and you associate that to pain. But in your case Bella, you lost your memories for half a year, your feelings towards those memories vanished because you didn't remember them. But tell me one thing, how do you feel about him, old memories aside'

As much as it was going to hurt, I needed to be true to my feelings right now.

'In the beginning,  when we started to hang out and I found out we dated, I felt really attracted to him, I even remember one time we were at my old house, in the kitchen and I felt comfortable around him. But I don't feel that attraction anymore, I see him more as a friend now'