Uh...they are BXB oneshots of tiktokers but i wrote these in 2020 so it's SWAYLA and Hype House. I don't know how any new tiktokers, i dont know who is problematic and tbh i don't even know why you would be reading this in 2024 but enjoy, i guess? o...
Chase stood on top of the building, staring down at the rushing cars below him. Their bright yellow red and orange lights, were bright against the darkness of the night that was absent of stars. The sight really was beautiful, he loved L.A. and he was sad to be leaving so soon. The industrialized setting of the city was amazing to him, the tall buildings that stood tall above the people walking down the streets. He knew that the people below him wouldn't notice him as he stood up here, he knew he was invisible to the people below him.
The warm air brushed up against him, whipping through his hair and blowing it into his eyes. The sudden bursts billowing his oversized t-shirt, the fabric snapping against his thin body. He lifted one of his legs up as he spread out his arms and closed his eyes, imagining the feeling of free-falling down from the building. The last seconds of his life as he plummeted down to the scene that he loved so much, ending his life as he sprawled out onto the concrete sidewalk below him. There was no question that he was going off the edge of this building, but he couldn't even be mad about it. He was relieving the pain that would never go away.
He knew someone would be up here to try to stop him, he knew that his friends knew where he was but he didn't care. He knew that his fans knew something was up with him but he didn't care. He knew that his friends were concerned and he didn't care. If they'd loved him enough they would've helped him through the hate, if they'd loved him they wouldn't have jumped to conclusions immediately. If they'd loved him, they would've been there when it wasn't convenient. But they didn't really love him, no one did. They'd made that abundantly clear, one of his best friends and lover had ruined his life.
As he stood there, inches from the edge he heard a soft voice from behind him "Chase please don't"
He didn't even have to turn around to know exactly who it was, Avani. Of course she'd be the one to come when she saw the post he'd made. One of his view from the building, showing the dark sky and the bright cars with "Two the ones I love thanks for sticking around" playing in the background. He turns around slowly to face her "Why shouldn't I" he questions.
"We don't want you to die, we all love you Chase. We want you to stay around." she says, taking a step closer to him. "You don't love me. You're lying. No one loves me, at this point I don't deserve love anymore" he sighs. "We do love you Chase. Your fans love you, your friends love you and your family loves you" Avani speaks softly, taking another step towards Chase.
"STOP IT. JOSH SAID HE LOVED ME TOO, HE SAID HE CARED ABOUT ME! THEN HE STABBED ME IN MY FUCKING BACK RIGHT AS THINGS WERE GETTING BETTER FOR ME! MY FANS SAID THEY LOVED ME AND THEY ALL LIED TOO. If they fucking loved me then the top 30 comments wouldn't be hate! All I get is hate! No one cares, all they do is hate! Every comment is bullying me, every comment is making fun of me! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GET HATE JUST FOR WEARING SOME FUCKING SHORTS! To get called a fucking chopstick everytime you show off any part of your body! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I GO THROUGH EVERY DAY! They don't care that I'm different, they don't care I've changed and I'll never be anything more than a cheater who says the n-word"
"I just want the pain to stop Avani...I don't want to keep going on like this. I just want to feel happy, whole again. I want to feel love, like somebody cares but they don't....i'm just a dumb, talentless, TikToker who'll never be remembered" the tears streaming down his face as he stepped closer to the edge, toes dangling slightly. He turned, his back facing away from the other girl who was crying along with him.
"Please, please Chase don't leave me. Don't leave us, please believe me. We'll miss you so much, we'll never be the same if you leave us. And I know you don't believe it right now but even Josh would miss you if you left. I won't stop you if you really wanna go, if you really wanna jump but if you are gonna leave then the last thing I wanna say is. I love you so much and you matter so much to me, and I'll never forget you even when you're gone, I'll carry on your legacy for everyone and I'll make sure that you're remembered as fondly as possible." she cries.
Chase couldn't even see her face but the pain that was in her voice, he could imagine her makeup running down her face as she strained her voice to speak. And while he knew it would take him a while to get his mental state back to where it needed to be, he knew that he wanted to get better. He wasn't going anywhere, it would take time but he would try as hard as he could. For everyone who may possibly care even in the littlest bit about him. He stepped off the ledge and ran to Avani, engulfing her in a hug as he cried. He didn't have to say a goodbye to anyone, he would be staying around for at least a little while longer.
All he needed was for that one person to say that they cared, one person to say that they would miss him if he'd gone, one person to convince him that his life was valued even just a little bit.
1.3k words. I was actually tearing up writing this. The rumors about this were false, not true and disproved by Chase himself. But in honor of suicide prevention month I wanted to write something that was about it.
Please trust me, I don't care if I've never met you, I don't care if I've never talked to you, I don;t care if I've never seen you. Your life matters. There are tough days, tough weeks, tough months, hell there are tough years but please believe me. Life is hard, life is tough and at times you might want to give up but your life will always matter, someone will always care about you. I care about you, your family cares about you, your friends care about you. You might not feel loved, you might feel like the whole world is against you but there's always at least one person out there who would miss you if you died. I'd be a hypocritical bitch and I'd be lying if I hadn't contemplated suicide but ending your life won't solve anything. You'll still be hurting in the after-life, heaven, hell or whatever you believe in once you're gone. Suicide isn't selfish but you will hurt the people who love you if you try to leave, the hurt and the anguish won't stop once you're gone. People's hate and words don't mean anything, for a person who hates you there are two more who care. And if you EVER feel like life is not worth living to please reach out to someone; a teacher, a family member, a friend, a counselor, hell reach out to me and I'll talk to you.
Life is worth living and if you ever feel like you might commit please call the suicide hot-line, the people who work on the phone line are so nice and hopefully they can convince you otherwise. YOUR LIFE MATTERS NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY
The U.S suicide hotline number 1-800-273-8255, please call if you feel suicidal. I can't put all of them but just look up your number if you don't live in the U.S. I love you puffins so so much❤️❤️
(Btw there will be a backstory about Chase and Joshes relationship soon)
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