stigma | minsung

41

after the party had ended, chan made his way into jisung and felix's shared room, noticing felix and changbin hadn't returned after searching for the latter. 

when he entered, he saw the three of them asleep, all cuddled together. he noticed jisung's puffy face and tear stained cheeks, he knew something had to have gone wrong and he knew only one person that could be the culprit. 

chan left the dorm and headed over to minho's. he didn't know exactly what happened, but he was about to find out. 

he had this awful pit in his stomach, worrying both for minho and jisung. the last thing chan wanted was to be caught in the middle of this awful mess. 

chan knocked on minho's dorm room door, hyunjin answering as he tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes. 

"chan, it's late, why are you here?" hyunjin questioned, jeongin come up behind him shortly after. 

"i need to speak to minho, is he here?" chan asked the boys. 

"he's not actually." hyunjin stated. 

"did he come back here after the party?" chan asked. 

"i think he left the party early, he wasn't there when we left, but he also hasn't been home since..." jeongin's voice trailed off slightly. 

"when was the last time you saw him?" 

"he was in jisung and felix's room with jisung." hyunjin explained.

"do you know where he goes when he's upset?" chan questioned as the worry rose within him. 

"i--" before hyunjin or jeongin could answer, another voice cut in. 

"he goes to the bridge that's down town, he likes to look out at the water to clear his head." seungmin explained as he walked over to the group. 

"is something wrong with minho, chan?" jeongin asked, his doe eyes looking into chan's. 

"i'm not sure yet." chan mumbled, "i think he'll be okay though." 

"do you think he and jisung got into a fight?" seungmin questioned. 

"what do friends have to fight about that would make him this upset?" hyunjin responded, trying to figure out more on the situation. 

"jisung can be an idiot when he's drunk, maybe he said something that struck a nerve with minho." chan lied, jisung was a loving goofball when drunk, but it was better than explaining the alternative. 

"i'm going to go head to the bridge now, thanks for your help guys." chan said as he got ready to leave. 

"do you want any company?" seungmin asked, but chan just shook his head no. 

"i'll be fine, thanks." chan then left without another word, racing to the bridge as quickly as possible. 

when he got there, he saw minho just standing at the railing, looking down at the water. it was a cool night, making the breeze nip at chan's skin as he went to join minho on the bridge. 

"it's pretty cold out, don't you think you should head inside somewhere warm?" chan suggested as he walked up to minho. 

"it's not that cold." minho muttered, not turning to look at chan. 

"what happened tonight min?" chan asked as he stood beside the boy, looking at the view that had him so captivated. 

"i don't know." minho shrugged, not walking to discuss the thoughts that were bouncing around inside his head. 

chan knew he couldn't force an answer out of the boy, it wouldn't be productive. so instead of continuing a pointless conversation, he stood there, accompanying the boy in silence. 

minho ignored can's presence, not intentionally, but his thoughts were too far gone. he just stared down at the crashing waves and wondered what it would be like to just let go. 

he wished he could dump his problems into the ocean below and just let them be taken out to sea, completely forgotten about and never to be found again. 

but nothing could ever be that simple. 

he felt the wind crash against his face, causing a slight burn and a red hue to grow on his face. he felt frozen on that bridge, but it was the least of his concerns. 

he was too busy thinking about all he had done wrong in the span of one night. minho had completely lost sight of what the right thing to do would be. 

he finally felt like speaking, not being able to bare the weight of his own thoughts any longer. 

"chan," minho started softly, catching the latter's attention, "i messed up." he sniffled slightly as the tears were beckoning to come crashing down. 

"what happened?" chan asked as he placed a hand over minho's that was gripping tightly onto the railing in front of him. 

"jisung kissed me." minho mumbled, not wanting to speak it into existence, but he already knew it was too late for that. 

"okay, but you said you messed up... that's something jisung did, what did you do?" chan had an idea of what minho's response might be, there wasn't many other options for how minho could have messed that up. 

"i left him there, alone... i got mad at him... i know he cried after i left. why am i like this chan? why can't i allow myself to love him?" minho asked defeatedly as the tears trickled down his cheeks. he continued to stare out at the water, wanting nothing more than to drown in it right in that moment. 

"i don't know minho, but you can't hurt jisung like this. he doesn't open up often, but for some reason he grew a hell of an attachment to you. he cares about you in a way i've never seen him care for someone before."

"i don't want to hurt him, but i know i can't be with him. i have to be straight chan, you don't understand." minho's voice broke in his distraught state, the sound of it making chan's heart ache. 

"then help me understand." chan said in a calm manner, "i can't help you if i don't understand." 

"i-i already told you... i-it's my parents... they'll never accept it." 

"so? cut them out then, you don't need them in your life if they won't love you for you." chan only wanted what was best for minho, but he didn't realize how impossible his words seemed to minho.

"i wish it were that simple..." minho shook his head.

"why can't it be?" 

"they own one of the biggest entertainment companies here in korea..." 

"do they own jyp?" 

"well... no..." 

"then what does it matter? you work for jyp, not them." chan said it as if this was an obvious answer. 

"yeah... right... let's just head back now." minho sighed, not wanting to continue with the conversation any longer. he couldn't explain it to chan, he'd just never understand it. 

a.n. 

i love writing minsung stories, minsung fill my heart with pure happiness