Eyes Who Cried Memories

Fifteenth

Fifteenth

I just found myself driving my way back home using my mom's car. She doesn't want me to leave that night so I waited for the sun to rise.

I didn't get a sleep but I am so wide awake.

My eyes are all red, probably from crying non-stop overnight.

"Dumb piece of shit" I nodded upon saying that to myself.

I can't believe I can be dumber than I expected. All the answers to my questions are right in front of me and yet, I refuse to read it.

I refuse to believe everything that I saw. I chose to ignore the truth.

I refuse to believe that it's possible for Chen to be the guy in my memories.

I refused everything only to find out that all things are just right.

That explains everything. From our very first meeting 'til our very last interaction, everything seems weird and familiar.

Another tears flow from my eyes as I remember the night of Chen's break down.

How can I hurt him like that? He loved me trully and yet... I payed with pain. I became the one who hurted him the most.

I don't know how badly hurt he is staying in this kind of situation. Isn't it painful to stay with someone who doesn't remember you? Isn't it painful to keep everything in yourself for a very long time?

Isn't it painful to wait for me, Joong?

He waited without enough assurance whether he'll be back to my memories or I'll completely forget about him.

I wiped all the tears in my eyes. Only thirty minutes and I'm sure I'll arrive to where Chen is. He'll be surely worried if he saw me in this state.

As I drive, a familiar hill caught my attention. I don't know what entered my mind, I just find myself turning my way to the direction of that hill.

Moving out of the car, the cold breeze of the wind touched my skin. Every steps I take bring back all the memories we shared in this place.

The moment I saw the familiar tree at the top of it, my body weakened. I did my best to walk towards that, before completely falling down on my knees.

This is our secret place.

"Kho thot, Joong... phom kho thot" I apologize as if he can hear me.

"Oi what is that knife for? Hmm.." I asked Joong when I saw him holding a knife.

We just got dismissed from our class and we decided to go here first before heading home. Both of us escaped. I escaped my father's guard and he escaped his school service.

"Oh? I'mma carve our names here. This will be our secret place. Isn't it great? Not everyone knows this and the scenery is relaxing"

"Ew, corny" I reacted with that.

"You're just shy, look at your smiling face. Why smile when you're disgusted?" He asked sarcastically and I just laughed at him.

He started to carve something on the tree while I just sat down and watch him do it. He looks so determined, there's no way I'll stop him.