memories | yuzuru hanyu ff (on hold)

Chapter 2

I got home and placed my bicycle in front of the house, using the lock to keep my bicycle from being stolen.

I went inside, of course, greeting the lonely house.

"ただいま (Tadaima - I'm back home)" I said in a tired way, also not forgetting to remove my shoes and change to my home slippers.

I walk towards the staircase to see my cat sleeping peacefully.

He was a black cat that I found in front of our house. Of course, mom was annoyed that I suddenly brought him home. Nonetheless, mom loved him.

'At least we get along in some ways...'

I decided to let Kou continue to sleep and went up to my room quietly.

I washed up, changed my clothes and stood in the middle of my room figuring out what to pack. I started picking out my clothes since that was the easiest thing to do at the moment.

While I was packing my clothes, opening closets and drawers, I continued thinking the memories. I remember getting bullied, being thrown at, degrading words spat out at me. Anxiety grew resulting me pushing people away, which made people think I was being a bitch.

'Maybe I was.'

Depression came and I was suicidal in my 3rd year of middle school. I had to go under therapy to sustain myself, I needed the help but all I got was more stress. Everyone was disappointed.

'Not a surprise.'

I took therapy for about a year, started feeling better in some ways but I'm still broken. I changed schools in my 1st year of high school to which my mom became the principal in, I started making new friends and I felt accepted. I felt like I was needed and loved. I had a boyfriend during this period, but he was always busy so he decided to break up with me. My anxiety grew back, so does my depression. Everyone comforted me about it but I knew, I knew that they were just staying with me because my mom was in the highest position in this school. I took medication since my therapist told me it was getting worst. I felt empty. During this time, I forgot that they were being fake people, I actually thought that they were being sincere. I stopped taking the meds and just ignored them. Even though I still talk to them, you could say I was also being fake.

'Now that I thought about it, I'm actually glad leaving this shitty place'

I continued packing my clothes until mom comes back home.

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I decided to stop for a while and stretched since I was sitting down for a while. I looked for my phone and saw the time.

8:47pm

I've been folding clothes way too long. I decided to go down and make some food since I was hungry. I went down and saw Kou drinking from his water bowl. He seemed to notice me and just purred at my presence. I walked towards the kitchen and thought about what to cook. I thought about cooking Tonkatsu but I was too hungry to even make such of a big meal. So I just cooked rice in our lovely old rice cooker and just put raw eggs on top.

After the rice was cooked, I went and grabbed 2 eggs and a bowl to the dining table. I also grabbed my chopsticks and spoon. I sat down on the cushion that was laying on the floor and decided to watch tv while I was eating.

"いただきます (Itadakimasu - I gratefully receive)"

As I was about to eat, the door opened revealing my mom. She looked tired as always with her laptop bag and her coat hanging on her arm. I greeted her while she just nodded and went upstairs.

'Guess she ate...'  I thought and started to eat.

After a few minutes, I finished eating and put the dishes in the sink. I was wiping the bowl dry until my mom shouted my name.

"NATSUNA!" she shouted, echoing around the house. Her voice containing an angered tone, as always.

I went up and went to her room to see her standing with her hair wrapped in a towel while her hands are on her hips.

"How many times am I going to tell you? Don't let Kou into my room."

'But Kou was just drinking water earlier?'

I was confused until I saw Kou in her room looking at both of us in a bored manner.

"I didn't notice mom, I was eating the entire tim-"

"That's the thing! You don't care. You're always inconsiderate, always on that stupid phone. I have done everything I could just so you could live like this, and now this small thing that I'm asking is for, you can't do? Oh for fuck sake, Nastuna. Can't you do anything rig-"

I couldn't handle her anymore and just walked out of her room to mine.

I slammed my door hard and took a deep breath before sitting down on my bed trying to calm myself. I laid back that resulted me bouncing up and down from the springs of the bed. I went to my train of happy thoughts, just so I could forget what had happened. The only thought that I had was him.

'No.'

I shook my head again and sighed.

I stopped myself from thinking of him and continued to pack.