Fine Line [ spencer reid x reader ] ✔️

ONE

warnings: mentions of drugs and drug addiction

JUNE 27TH, 2006
QUANTICO, VIRGINIA
9:38 AM

Spencer is used to being alone.

He's pretty much been alone his whole life—all through high school and college. The only friend he really ever had was Ethan, and he lives all the way in New Orleans. Even the team—his now family—leaves him alone most of the time outside of work. He goes to work, drinks his coffee, catches the bad guy, and goes home again to an empty apartment.

But there's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. And it's only been recently that Spencer's started feeling the dreaded loneliness creep into his chest, trying to settle right under his heart and spread throughout his body.

Sitting at his desk, Spencer clears his throat, shaking himself out of his head. He takes a sip of his sweet coffee, trying to focus on anything other than that feeling. It's becoming increasingly harder day by day to ignore it. It started when Elle left. And then Gideon left. His mentor leaving was exceedingly painful, Spencer still feeling the pain even after Gideon's long gone, a ghost of a whisper lingering in the halls of the BAU.

He stares at the paper in front of him, tapping his pencil against the edge of his desk. Glancing up, he looks around the office, chewing on his bottom lip. Derek is hunched over at his desk, pen scribbling away at the paperwork in front of him. Prentiss is staring down at her desk, her chin settled in the palm of her right hand. Rossi's in his office, the door propped open. Spencer sees Hotch through the blinds in his office, the phone held to his ear.

Spencer looks back down at his paperwork, swallowing the slight lump that had started to form in his throat. Days like these—when the loneliness won't stop nipping at him—makes him crave Dilaudid again. Actually, he's been craving since that case in California a couple of months ago. Sometimes, if he closes his eyes, he can still see the young boy's body drop to the ground, the gunshot ringing in his ears.

He shakes off the feeling, glancing back up when he sees movement toward Hotch's office. Spencer furrows his brow, watching JJ lead a woman into Hotch's office, shutting the door behind them. He sighs, standing up, finishing off his coffee. He moves to the kitchen area, pouring himself another cup, stirring in the large amount of sugar.

"Kid, you're gonna get diabetes from all that sugar."

"Actually, consuming sugar is not a direct risk factor for diabetes," Spencer mutters, sipping his coffee. "It can have indirect effects that lead to diabetes though, like weight gain." Spencer looks at Derek, raising his eyebrows. "I am a stick."

Derek laughs, shaking his head. "You got that right, kid."

Spencer sips his coffee, leaning against the counter. "Who was that with JJ?"