Chapter 20

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I didn't know if what I was doing was right or wrong. I reached the dining hall and saw everyone eating happily.

"I've made some- What's wrong with you?"asked Rachael warily. "I'm leaving."I croaked and wiped some tears. "But what's wrong?" Jimin yelled. I reached the door and opened it. "Did something happ-". I couldn't hear what Jungkook said as I slammed the door behind me.

TAEHYUNG P.O.V
I never thought that this could ever happen. I never meant any of the things she said. Was I being too arrogant? Too cold? Too cruel? I wanted to tell her that, that kiss meant so much to me but no words were able to come out from my mouth. If I was mean to her, I'll apologise and clear all the misunderstandings. That kiss meant a lot to me.

Y/N P.O.V

I was back at home, all washed up, lying in my bed, crying softly. Rachael said that she would be here in a few minutes. I was thinking about what happened an hour ago. Was I being angry for no reason? Was it okay to bring that kiss in between? Thinking about that kiss makes me sad a thousand times more.

Not because I didn't like it. But, if that kiss was filled with affection from his side. Will he also reciprocate the feelings I have for him? My mental health was getting worse just by just thinking about it.

Streaming tears cleansed my red cheeks. Few droplets remained, forgetting their way as the path was swept beneath them, consequently blurring my vision with waves of sadness. The salty release calmly flowed in my mouth so that I could taste my own sorrow.

Bitter. Unforgiving. Pain.

My sadness is a hollowness. I can't tell what's worse. Sometimes my hollowness is a shell, holding in a thousand oceans of tears. Sometimes though, it holds a thousand pieces of glass that are wedged in between my soul and body. That's the pain. Then I started to remember. His smile. His voice. Memories flooding back into my head. I was just left reminiscing and indulging in my past. I connected to a part of his others never feel. I saw a part of his soul he never wanted to let out of the bag. And I loved it. I heard a faint knock and turned around to see Rachel with a pack of chocolates, pizza and a laptop.

"This is the solution of all boy problems." she stated and joined me in the bed. I chuckled and wiped my tears. I sat up and she placed the laptop in front of our legs as she hit the play button and F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme song started playing.

"' So no one's told you life was gonna be this way. Your job's a joke, you're broke, you're love life's D.O.A!'"we sang and cracked up. For at least two hours, both Rachael and me just binge watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S and ate junk food.

"Ahh..." Rachael yawned and stretched her body. "Okay, I'm gonna put the dishes in the wash and clean this mess up."she said and put her left hand on her hip. "Thank you so much, Rach." I thanked her and gave her a kind smile.

She came up to me and gently wrapped her arms around my body and mumbled "Don't worry, I'll be there for you." What did I do to deserve her?! She pulled away as her phone started ringing and I laid down for some sleep, covering myself with the soft blanket.

"Oh..." she said to the person on the other side of her phone. "Taehyung's coming." She told me and left the room without another word. I didn't reply and tightened my hold on the blanket, pulling it up till my nose, ignoring what she said.

After a few minutes of no sleep I opened my eyes as I felt the other side of the bed sinking because of weight. I didn't look the opposite way and continued to stare towards my nightstand. Suddenly, I felt an arm wrapping around my waist as the body came closer to mine, getting themselves inside the blanket with me.

I felt soft breathing on my neck. "Y/N...."Taehyung whispered as he pulled my back towards his chest, nicely capturing my body in his arms. I was still looking the other way. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that. I'm truly sorry. I just couldn't open my mouth to speak anything, as if......as if someone had stolen my voice.

"No words were coming out of my mouth. That kiss, it was full of passion and love, after all it was my first one."he paused, probably waiting for me to turn around. My sorrow reduced a bit when he said that. I can't believe it was his first kiss.

He pulled me closer, now softly brushing the material of my hoodie near my tummy with his long and slender fingers.

"When I first met you, I thought you were the same like other girls. Liking me only for my good looks. But I was completely wrong. When you kissed me back with so much emotions involved in it, I knew you were different. Much different than other girls. The more time I spent with you, the harder I fell for you. I was still not convinced that you will not leave me for another guy.

"Jungkook. He is better than me in many ways and I thought that one day you will leave me for someone like him. I was arrogant and mean to you because I didn't want to fall for you, I didn't want to be hurt in the end. Meeting you was a fate, being your friend; a choice. And falling in love, was bound to happen. You are the one who paints my world. You are the one who keeps me shielded, defends me from the brutality. You are the one I will die a thousand times for.

"I chose you, and I am willing to repeat the action over and over. A million times over. I hurt you several times, yet on that day , you kissed me, like I am your hope. My icy heart melted by your fire, and embraced yours with the flutter of wild feelings I felt. I just don't know how to express it. You just make me feel some kind of way."

The moment he finished I tuned around, hugging him tightly and sobbing in his chest, yet again.

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A/N: I'm sorry for the late update guys. A lot was going on and school was tiring as always. So I couldn't concentrate much and I wasn't feeling mentally well. If ya know what I mean. But I hope you enjoyed today's chapter and don't forget to vote!

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