HERSHE - JENLISA

Admire

Monday - February 12th

The office doesn't look the same now knowing that Lisa isn't there. Jennie did her usual routine even though it was hella boring the entire day.

On the other hand, people couldn't be more excited for the coming Valentine's Day. Their office is now fully decorated with cupids and hearts all over the place. Some colleagues are already struggling in finding a gift for their special someone. Somi even told Jennie that she'll be preparing gifts for Bam and Lisa. Jennie didn't mind, she knows how Lisa feels about Somi.

There are times she notices herself just looking at the Graphics Department's direction, maybe hoping that a certain person would walk out and smile at her.

Her eyes shifted to the wall clock and saw its already 5:01 pm.

Sigh. Just two more days.

----

When Jennie got home, she saw her mom in the kitchen preparing something.

"Hi, mom, it's a surprise that you're early today," said Jennie, giving her mom a quick kiss on the cheek.

"The meeting with the clients was dismissed early so we decided to call it a day," said her mom, glancing over her quickly and going back to chopping the vegetables.

Jennie dropped her bag on the table and walked to the fridge to get some cold water. "Oh, that's good. Do you want to go out for shopping or something? Maybe unwind a little?"

"I don't think unwinding is a good idea now. We'll be stuck in the pre-Valentine's Day traffic."

"I just thought you could, you know, relax for a bit. You're always busy with your work. Maybe we could eat dinner outside?"

"Let's do that next time, I'm already preparing our dinner, darling."

Jennie leaned over the kitchen table and stared at her mom's back while swirling the glass in her hand. Since her dad passed away her mom had busied herself over work. Their loss was hard for both of them but Jennie knew it was harder for her mom. They even have to move out from their previous house because her mom wasn't really recovering at all.

Despite the business and the grieving, her mom never failed to be a mother to Jennie. She grew up having a mom and a best friend at the same time. But there are times she wonders if her mom is happy. She won't mind if her mom would remarry someday, she'd love that, at least someone would take care of her in a way that Jennie couldn't provide.

But just looking at her mom now Jennie knows it's impossible. Her mom never forget her dad. There were suitors who came in and tried but it didn't work out. She knows that her mom still lingers in her dad's memory. There are nights that she still sees her mom talking to her dad's picture.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't you ever want to have a boyfriend again?"

Her mom stopped chopping. "What kind of question is that?"

"I'm just curious." Jennie shrugged. "I won't mind, just so you know. I just want you to be happy again."

Her mom put down the knife and turned to her with a wry smile. "Why, are you getting married and planning to leave me soon?"

"Nope. I just want you to have a boyfriend. That's all. Period."

"And why do you want me to have a boyfriend all of a sudden? Do you have one already?"

"Ugh, we're talking about you here, mom." Jennie suddenly got defensive. She's afraid that this conversation may lead to prying more about her love life. "And I'm still single, okay?"

The older woman folded her arms across her chest and stared at her daughter with skeptical eyes.

"What?" asked Jennie, feeling conscious about it.

"You may not say it but I've been noticing something different about you lately."

Jennie swallowed something in her throat. "Noticing what?"

"Just slight changes: frequent humming, eagerness to go to the office, constantly looking at your phone, plus your mood has been oddly light lately." The older woman tapped a finger on her chin. "Is my daughter, by any chance, finally in love?"

Jennie felt uneasy with the question. She had to look away. "I told you, mom, I'm single."

"I know, but being single doesn't mean you're not in love with someone, right?"

"I'm not, mom, okay? Don't worry; you'll be the first person to know about it just in case I fall in love soon," said Jennie, brushing stray of hairs from her face in an attempt to cover up possible blushing.

"If you say so. I'm just here anytime you're ready to tell me about it."

Her mom turned back to the veggies. Jennie took it as an opportunity to escape to her room right away.

----

Sigh...

Jennie plopped herself on the bed, wrinkled her nose and massaged her temples with her palms. She had been fidgeting the entire conversation because the only person who popped into her head when her mom threw that million-dollar question was Lisa.

Shit. This can't be.

There's no use in denying it anymore. At some point, somehow, yes, she's attracted to Lisa, but she isn't sure if it's love or not. She never really had liked someone so bad before so there's no point of comparison. Plus, she's still seeing her feelings for Lisa as momentary admiration, considering that Lisa has the same effect on most of the girls.

Jennie pulled out her wallet and chuckled at the sight of their picture from the horror house. It was when she realized how much she's missing Lisa now. It's only been two days since she last saw her but it feels like they haven't talked in ages. She ran a finger across the picture.

Sigh...

Forgive me for being dense about this because this is all new to me. But of you were to judge what I'm feeling now, what would you say?

Jennie dropped her hands to her side and closed her eyes after another loud sigh.

Tell me, Lisa, am I already in love with you?