Her Loyalties

Chapter Seven

Lexas POV

I'm such an idiot.

I have ruined everything.

When Clarke stepped forward as leader, I knew what would happen. I tried to stop it, and I failed. I instantly felt a connection between us. 

When the skai (sky) people left, Anya came back into my tent.

"Lexa." She said. "We both know what happened." I nodded, Anya knew everything about me so she would spot this.

"I know Anya." I sagged back into my throne. "I didn't mean too."

"She's pretty."

I glared at her and she smirked at me. Anya knew that I had felt nothing like this after Costia. But this girl - Clarke - had broken me into pieces without even knowing it.

"I don't know what to do." I said, unafraid to share my weaknesses with her.

"I do." Anya said, surprising me. "Talk to her. I saw the way she looked at you too. She likes you already." I shook my head. This was typical Anya, lie to make someone feel better.

"Anya I..."I cut myself off from what I was about to say. "I'll try." She nodded.

"Pull yourself together Heda. Your biga sis (older sister) is coming tomorrow and if you're like this in front of her, she'll tell Clarke."

"I know." I sighed. Luna was known for telling my secrets just to embarras me. I would not let that happen this time. "Thank you Anya."

"Just be yourself Lexa. But not around her friends. That would be wierd."

"Go away." I was only half joking. Anya smirked and ducked out of my tent. I leant my head back against my throne and closed my eyes. Clarke's face was all I could see, so I opened my eyes again and forced myself to stop thinking about her.

I knew that I always felt things too strongly, but I couldn't help it.

Instead of dwelling on my feelings, I approached the flap of the tent and called to a guard. Gustus came in.

"Sha (yes) Heda?"

"I am going to the training field." I told him. "Would you bring Clarke and her friends when they have made their descision?" When he nodded, I walked around him and set off towards the training field.

When I arrived, Tomac was sharpening swords with a rock. He looked up as I approached, and stood to meet me.

"Heda. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hello Tomac. I would like to do some training with you, if you do not mind." His eyes lit up in excitement. Not many people were asked to train with the Heda, so people considered it an honour.

"Of course Heda."

"You may call me Lexa." I corrected. I preferred to be called Lexa, but it was custom to call a commander Heda unless they invite otherwise.

"Lexa." He grinned. "What would you like to start with?"

"Swordfighting, if you will. I have not practiced in a while." It would be enough of a distraction to keep my mind only on what I was doing at present. Tomac nodded and picked up the sword he had been sharpening.

I led him towards the fighting ring, and drew one of my two swords, twirling it in my hand. Luna always teased me about the sword twirling, but it helped me to focus and balance myself. Tomac looked slightly nervous but started anyway.

We circled each other for a few seconds. This was my go-to tactic, a game of patience. Toman broke first, swinging his sword up and around. I blocked it with my sword, and twisted around to strike him from the side. I wouldn't actually hit him, but he jumped out of the way.

In retaliation, he flicked his sword around towards my hand that wasn't holding a sword. Reflexively, I threw my hand out to block the blow. 

His sword dug into my stomach and I flinched in shock as it went in deeper than I thought it would. Tomac froze in place and looked in horror at my wound.

"Heda." He whispered, forgetting that he could call me Lexa. "Heda, I am so sorry." I sighed. People always seemed so terrified when I was injured. It really wasn't that big of a deal.

"It is fine." I reassure him. "Cuts happen all the time."

"I am still sorry Heda. Let us go to Nyko and get your cut wrapped."

I nodded, agreeing. There was no point arguing. I sheathed my sword and followed Tomac to Nykos tent. When we arrived, a guard told me that Nyko wasn't there. He had been called out to assist a warrior who had been attack by a jaguar.

"Heda, we can wait for him to come back." Tomac said, and I agreed. We sat on the bench outside the tent. My blood was still dripping down my stomach, forming a small puddle at my feet. I wondered if the ingury was more serious than I thought.

We had been waiting for only a few minutes when I began to feel faint. When I looked down at my stomach again, I saw that it was bleeding heavier now. Tomac followed my gaze and began to panic.

"Heda, should I run and get Nyko?"

"No, let him assist the other first." I mumbled, shaking my head against the slight dizziness. I heard sudden footsteps and opened my eyes to see Gustus approaching, followed my Clarke and her friends. There was another person with them - one I didn't recognise. He seemed to be older then the rest and was carrying a gun.

When Clarke saw me, her face paled and she walked faster. I tried to stand to meet her but she shook her head at me to stay down.

"Where's your doctor?" She asked Tomac in a frightened voice.

"I don't know." He replied.

"That's okay." She looked determined now. "I know how to fix her hand. Take her in." She pointed into the tent. Gustus took one of my arms and helped me up. I leaned against him as I tried to walk forward.

I fell instantly, the ground rushing up at my face. Gustus caught me and scooped me up into his arms, walking fast into the tent. He set me down on Nykos medical table and I saw Clarke rifling through his things. She came over to me, carrying several things in her arms.

When she saw my blood, she faltered and stared for a minute. She must have never seen black blood before. However, she shook off the shock quickly and began to help me.

"Lexa." She murmured. "I need to take off your armour."

I nodded and she looked at Gustus.

"Can you help me? I don't know how it works." Gustus agreed and between then, they carefully undid my armour until I only had one shirt on. Clarke looked for my permission before rolling it up to my ribs. I felt more blood well out of the cut and drip onto the floor as she freed my shirt.

Unable to keep my weakness in, I whimpered as she dabbed my wound with a damp cloth. She looked at me sympathetically and I bit my lip.

"How did this happen?" I heard Gustus ask Tomac in a threatening voice.

"We were just training, it was an accident."

"If she dies, expect the worst punishment."

"Lexa?" Clarke asked and I refocused on her. "You're going to be okay."

I nodded at her words and gave her a small smile. She smiled sadly back.

And then I was pulled under.