The Twin Sister of A Holland

Part 12

"What should we draw on her face?"
"Where is the pen that Noah drew on me?"
"Hey leave them alone. They are both tired let them sleep." The hush whispers wakes me up from my peaceful slumber.

I hear these voices surrounding me. I'm in the stage of half asleep and half awake.

"No let's draw a mustache one Noah. He needs a taste of his own medicine."

That must be Gaten. Suddenly my memory hit me like a freight train.

I fell asleep on Noah's shoulder last night. I hope I didn't have a nightmare or something.
He always visits me in my dreams. Some good most nightmares.

I rub the sleepiness out of my eyes. I scan my surroundings. I'm meet with six pairs of eyes staring at me and the sleeping figure next to me.
"Good job Gaten you woke her up." Sadie slap the back of his head
"Ow that hurt. I'm sorry if I did." He rub his head and stare daggers at Sadie.

"Hey can I talk to Po alone?" Paddy speaks up in the dark corner of the room. The chorus of "yes" "sure" "no problem" echos in the room. Slowly everyone drag themselves out of the room well except for Noah.

"Po." My twin whisper "you were thrashing around last night. You didn't scream scream surprisingly but you kinda kick Noah awake. When Noah push himself off the floor. He was so worried." Crap. "He was all like 'oh my God. Is she ok? Do we need to call someone? What's happening?' Posie he really cares for you." He puts his hand on my shoulder; I glance at the sleeping teen. My heart shattered into thousands of pieces.

His chapped lips are slightly apart. His breathing is a steady beat like a drum. His chestnut brown hair looks like a birds nest. Dark black circles formed under his lower lashes. A gentle draft blows a few strands of hair off of his forehead. A rosy pigment color prints on his nose and cheeks. Shivering, he lazily pulls up the blanket closer and tighter to his built body. Oddly his lips curve into a sly smile. He is dreaming about something nice I'm assuming. His arms tangle up with each other. His legs are curled up into a somewhat ball like figure.

"You need to tell him everything." I snap my head towards paddy's direction. He lost his mind
"What no no no. I can't do that. I won't, the more he knows the worse everything gets. I keep this secret so long not even the media knows. Let's keep it like that." I spat at my twin like it was poison.  Paddy gracefully holds my shaking hands into his smooth ones.
"Posie you should do it but not now. I have a strong feeling that it's the right thing to do." His hazel eyes has a glossy covering. Water collects on his long lashes. He blinks a couple of times to not shed tears.
"Pads, he has done a lot of damage. Holes that can't be filled, burns that can't be healed, scars can't erase. Words forever burn in my brain. I j-just c-cant." I broke down into his comforting arms. This is such a routine.
I don't even try to stay strong. Even the strongest has breaking points. Even the happiest can be sad. The out going can be tired. I'm just done with this sh*t I'm done with my past. I'm done with life.

I'm crying pools and pools of water in paddy's now dirty shirt. Since my sobs were so loud unknowingly I woke up Noah.
"Po." Paddy whisper in my ear "what." I manage to mumble out. All he said was one word "Noah"
My eyes widen; I turn around and see Noah's head is in hands. His head is shaking back and forth. I sit there in the silence. I wipe my tears away pretending I'm ok but actually I'm broken.

"Noah" he snap his head towards my direction. The sight I'm seeing is heart breaking. The boy I like is crying because of me.
He joyful eyes are now dark with sadness. Streams of tears slide down his face; like their racing to see who gets to the bottom first. His lips quivering. The bloodshot color breaks me down inside.
"What happen last night?" his voice cracks
"Um I just h-had a nightmare" I try to brush it off.
"That wasn't some nightmare Posie. You were mumbling someone's name. I don't remember who's. From what I saw you were hurt very badly."
He cautiously slide over to me. His fingers intertwine with mine. His touch makes my heart skips beats. It sends chills up my spine. Then a thought hit me
Noah doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve me. He will NEVER like me or even LOVE me
I cant do this to him
I hate when people coddle me.  I'm tire being treat as a baby.
"Look Posie whatever happen to you I'm sorry...." I cut Noah off
I sprang up from the couch. With rapid speed I'm whipped myself around to see Noah face to face.
"I'm tired of people saying 'I'm sorry'" I put air quotes "'sorry' doenst fix anything. It doesn't fix my past, doenst fix my scars, doenst fix my heart, doenst fix my life." I number on my fingers
"Nobody cares for me. I feel like the whole world is against me. It's real sh*t" I collapse on the bed and the two boys are right next to me.
"Don't you EVER say that Po. We care for you. Don't ever think different. We love you no matter what." Paddy lifts my weightless body off the bed.
"I think paddy and I should leave. Goodbye Noah. Tomorrow around noon come to my house. I'll be home alone. You deserve an explanation." I grab my belongings and my twins wrist. I dart out the door. I'm so desperate to get out of that room; I didn't even hear Noah's response.
"Oh hey Posie.... woah woah what happen?" Millie states which causes the whole cast to turn their heads towards me.
"Um nothin. I just need to go. I'll see you guys soon." I'm not even waiting for a lift. The cast try's to stop me but I push through the small crowd toward the stairs.
Skipping some steps along the way we made it to the bottom. I don't even want to be bother with paparazzi. That's the last thing I need right now. Like Paddy read my mind he hands me sunglasses and a hat.

After our stressful walk through the lobby. We arrived at my jeep and without hesitation we both jump in.
"Posie what's wrong?" The eyes of my brother begs me to spill.