Coupon collecting villain x reincarnated cannon fodder

Chapter 14

"Your husband is so cute." An elderly lady by the fruits section whispered to me as she sent a glance towards Audeus.

... How old does she think I was? How could I be married at 16?

"Are those his kids or..." I sucked my teeth at annoyance as she left the question hanging.

"No, I'm too young to be married." I shook my head aggressively continuing on when she looked at me in suspicion. "He's actually my brother." I gave her a shaky smile as I tried to clear up the misunderstanding, only to create a bigger misunderstanding.

"Oh my... Is that sort of thing popular among the youth?" She gasped in shock and pat her chest frightfully.

"Huh, what thing?" I was completely confused by the exaggerated reaction she was showing to me falsely appointing Audeus as my sibling.

"Incest." She whispered, a slight blush smattering her face.

I recoiled back in disgust and then decided that this was as far as this conversation would go.

"Oh, wow look at the time I've got to get home soon." I looked down at my phone and quickly grabbed a few oranges for the kids. They were on sale so I think our budget could stretch for it. After all they need that Vitamin C to promote growth and immunity, I can't have my siblings grow up short and sickly you see.

I ran back to the trolley where Audeus and my siblings were waiting. Watching Soee's stumped face as he decided between the different cookie mix boxes. He had been attracted by the box designs and so we scratched making them from scratch off the list.

"Hngh... Tha bwoo one iz betta. B-but tha bwack iz cool." He weighed up the two options as he looked to the crouched down Audeus for counsel.

"Hmm, this one has robots on it doesn't it look cooler?" Audeus pointed to the black one as he seriously analysed the boxes.

"Mm, b-but the bwoo one has dinosaurs." His face scrunched up cutely as he thought hard about the choice.

"Ah, just hurry up Soee, it's already been 5 minutes." Shao whined as he stood beside them, five minutes in his time was an eternity.

They had been trying to decide on the box for a little while. So in the meantime I went away to grab the oranges I had seen on sale, but they were still stuck when I came back.

"Sovie, Sovie which one?" Soee tugged on my sleeve seeing that I had come back, he completely abandoned Audeus.

"I think blue looks better those dinosaurs are so cute." I pointed at the little pterodactyl with the screaming face of a celebrity morphed into it. It was completely hideous but I wasn't agreeing with Audeus anytime soon. I sent a smug smile to Audeus as Soee nodded wholeheartedly in agreement.

"I was finkin' that too." Soee mumbled as he gently placed the blue box in his kiddie trolley and began pushing down the aisle.

Oh... So cute, so cute! He looks like a mini adult, I wish I had a camera so I could take really pictures with it. My memory bank of Soee is getting too big, I don't want to forget even a moment of his cuteness.

"I-I thought the blue one was cute too." Audeus mumbled as he slid up alongside me.

"Pfft, what a liar you kept trying to convince Soee to get the black one." Shao sneered at Audeus, laughing ecstatically as Audeus stood there frozen.

"Shao, shut up." Shi pulled his cheek hard causing Shao to cry 'ow'.

"Shi, why are you taking his side?" The look of hurt at being betrayed by his twin was on display for all to see.

"Aww." I cooed seeing his tearful face and cheeks marred with red from Shi pulling on them too hard. I picked up Shao patting his head in an attempt to soothe him. Shao showing his emotions outright without coercing or teasing does not happen very often. He must have been really hurt. "Oof, you're heavy."

"Sh-shut up I didn't tell you to pick me up, did I?" Shao glared at me but made no effort to get out of my arms and instead wrapped his hands around my neck.

Urgh, his weight is pulling on my neck, it'll break, it'll break.

I tried to readjust myself so that my neck wouldn't snap but it barely made a difference. Damn, I forget that he's not a small kid anymore. After all he had recently turned 10. But, it doesn't matter I still want to lug this potato sack around.

...I must get stronger.

Soee who had gone ahead with his trolley suddenly turned to see me holding Shao. His eyebrows furrowed for a second and then he abandoned his trolley, more importantly his cookies, to come waddling over at top speed. Of course, top speed for a 4 year old isn't exactly fast so I had a great view of his annoyed face as he came bumbling over.

"No Shao." He growled at Shao tugging on his leg to pull him down. When that failed he reached out to me with both hands, begging to be picked up with watery round eyes.

"Bleh." Shao stuck his tongue out at Soee and then showed a huge gloating smile.

Seeing that Shao was no longer upset I put him down, but honestly it was because I don't think my strength would let me carry him much longer. "Huh, wha-" Shao's expression mirrored Soee's as they both reached out, signalling for me to pick them up.

"She's too tired to carry you two, if you guys want to be carried ask Audeus." Shi rolled her eyes at them as she slyly wrapped her hand around mine.

Both boys turned their noses up at that suggestion and Soee quickly held onto my other hand, beating Shao by a split second. I turned to Audeus with a smug smirk on my face only to see him staring a hole at the hand Soee was holding.

"What, you want Soee to hold your hand? It's not going to happen." I scrunched my nose up and sent a huge smile to him. Audeus sighed in response.

A/N: MERRY CHRIZMAS lol at the fact someone commented they should get married last post and the opening line for this chapter 🤭🤭