Whoa Baby

Chapter 28- Goodbye

Whoa Baby

Chapter 28- Goodbye

"Goodbyes are only for people you'll never see again. So for now we will say, see you soon." - Sean O'Donnell [Tweet]

"So how are things with you and JC?" Emma asks, twirling her hair between her fingers as she sits on the couch.

I sigh, leaning back on a pillow, closing my eyes and rubbing my temple. "We had an argument the other day." I inform her, "He thinks he can come waltzing in here after everything he's done and thinks it's all ok. For a few days he freakin' walks through my front door. Doesn't knock, doesn't ring the doorbell. I'll be up in my room, doing my own things and he just comes and takes over! I've never asked him to. He thinks it'll justify for what he did."

"Well that's not right." Emma mumbles, shaking her head. "Wasn't he taught to knock first? It's kind of rude if you ask me. Especially since he's not, like, a good friend or anything. I mean if you were to do that to me I wouldn't care less because I've known you for so long and I would think it's funny. But since it's JC..."

"It's not just that. What irritates me the most is that, he comes in the house and pretends nothing is wrong and he expects a fresh start. He doesn't even apologize, Em. It would be one thing if he came in and said, 'hey, I'm sorry for possibly hurting your feelings, I know I screwed up a few times, but I do want to be a part of this if you can give me a chance.' No, he doesn't. He expects a pass because he's JC Ace."

She was quiet for a moment, bringing a strand of her hair over her upper lip unconsciously, "No, I don't think it's that." She whispers honestly. "I think that... I don't know. Maybe it's his way of being sorry and maybe that's what he got away with for all these years, but its not fair to you. Let's be honest though, if he did apologize to you the first time he came would you have welcomed him so quickly?"

I stare at the ceiling thinking about it. Maybe she's right, I would have been a little more hesitant at the moment, but later on when I had more time to think I would have been a little bit more reasonable. "Even if he did apologize, and I did accept it in a way, I don't think I could still trust him fully. I think he's already put me through so much pain for me to easily forget about it. My head is telling me to do the right thing and let him be a father because my baby needs that, but my heart is just trying to protect me from the damage he's already caused." I could feel the tears building up in my eyes, the pain still in my chest, as my bottom lip trembled slightly from my parted lips, "Because honestly Em, I don't think I can take it again if he tells me he doesn't want the baby." My voice cracking as I told her so with tears sliding down my cheeks.

Emma hovered herself over me, her eyes glassy with tears of her own. She pouts her bottom lip, squishing on the couch next to me and pulling me into a hug. "You're afraid to get let down again."

"I don't know what would hurt most. Not letting him in the baby's life, and suffering after, or him changing his mind after the baby is born and suffering later. It's a double edge sword, Em." I cry, wiping the tears off my face.

"Neither would be great, but we live in an imperfect world. Bad things are bound to happen, but good things happen to. People can be here one day and gone the next, and we can't see if JC will stay or not. Sadly you have to take his word whether it's of value or not. But you work on trust. No one is saying to just give it all to him. Make him earn it. Make him work for it and prove it. If you give him a chance make it damn clear that it's the last one he'll ever get." Emma rationalized. Again she's right.

"I'm not being a push over or desperate or insane for giving him another chance?" I wonder, sniffling a bit.

"Insane, maybe. Desperate, no." She expresses. We sit there in silence for a while. It was a comfortable silence as I let all the information sink in. "So... What did JC do when he was here?" She asks quietly sitting up on the couch.