Chaotic Good | the umbrella academy

TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY
' NO ,  HE'LL 
BE   SWIMMING . '

Eddie let out a sigh as she laid upside down on the chair, her hands folded across her stomach as her eyes fluttered. Five paced around the room, a scowl never leaving his face.

'Five.' Eddie rolled to her feet as she pushed her hair out of her face. He paid her no mind as he continued to move across the rooms. 'Five,' she tried again, louder. 'Five Hargreeves!' He jumped, whipping around to face her. 'Stop stressing yourself out.' She moved towards him, placing her hands into her pockets. 'You need to speak to me. I'm here. You're not on your own anymore.' He nodded absentmindedly, looking away as he bit his lip. 'Five.' His eyes moved back to her as she widened her eyes, shaking her head.

'I have an idea,' he began, crossing his arms as he rubbed his chin.

'Does this idea have something to do with a younger version of oneself, by any chance?'

Amusement flashed within his eyes for a moment as he smirked. 'It may, per se.'

'Well then, dear, we better get to work.'

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Eddie handed Five another glass as he downed them. She continued to fill up cups as he discarded other ones. Luther entered the room and froze, furrowing his eyebrows.

'Five, Eddie? You okay?' Five let out a heavy breath as he whipped his mouth.

'He's trying to drown himself.' Eddie smiled as her eyes flashed with mischief.

'I need to be hydrated,' Five managed out, as he let out a small cough. Five tried to blindly grab at a work surface before Eddie sighed, grasping a container and handing it to him.

'What's with the baby powder?' Luther asked.

'It will help with the itching.'

'What itching? There's itching? What the Hell is going on here?' Luther's eyes widened as his jaw relaxed. 'You do have a plan!'

'No he's just taking a page out of Klaus' book and starting a cult,' Eddie corrected sarcastically. Luther glared at her.

'Well, it's a desperate move, but since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice,' Five moved away as Eddie leant against a wall.

Luther's face contorted, and Eddie rolled her eyes. 'He's going to find his past self in nineteen-sixty-three.'

'I've just arrived in Dallas fifteen minutes ago,' Five added as he moved to the centre of the living room. Luther stammered with his confusion, and Five looked to Eddie as he widened his eyes. 'Luther, if you recall, I was sent to nineteen-sixty-three on a job by the Commission to make sure the President was assassinated.' Five began to stretch as he lunged and pulled his arms.

'Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there?'

'Precisely.'

'What, just walking around Dallas?'

'No, I think he's swimming, actually.' Eddie rolled her eyes as she turned away. 'Good lord, you ask some shit sometimes.'

'Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that could get us home.'

'Oh my God, Five, you're a genius!' Luther exclaimed, and Eddie cleared her throat, raising an eyebrow.

'However there are flaws,' Eddie added unhelpfully, as Five gave her a glare.

'I am arguably the most dangerous assassin in the time-space continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem two and this one is the real fly in the ointment here; you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline.' Five let out a sigh. Luther furrowed his eyebrows.

'Oh, please, Luther, at least try to keep up.' Eddie shook her head. 'There are side effects.'

'Exactly. According to Commission Handbook, chapter twenty-seven, subsection three b, the seven stages of paradox psychosis are; stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrollable perspiration, and seven... Homicidal rage.' Five let out a breath.

'Homicidal rage?' Luther repeated.

'Nah, it's just spicy anger.' Eddie smiled.

Luther grimaced. 'Jeez, I don't know, maybe this isn't a good idea.'

'It's a Hail Mary, but what choice do we have, Luther?'

'I don't know. You seem a bit squirrelly if I'm honest.'

'Look, Luther.' Five sighed as he moved towards him. 'I'm gonna need your help to get through this one, all right? I need a spotter.'

'What is that?' Eddie let out a groan, rubbing her face. 'Like a wingman?'

'It means that if it gets out of hand, you're gonna help me stay on task,' Five corrected.

'What's Eddie gonna do?'

'Oh, I'm spotting too, just, I ain't afraid to hit no old man.'