𝐈&𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄, 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧

2020 MAMA AWARDS

it's been six days since ENHYPEN officially came out into the world as one. the feelings of both shock and euphoria NaRi had after their debut showcase still hadn't left her body.

that was, until, she was woken up by HeeSeung at 7 a.m. for their daily early morning practice. today, all she could feel radiating from her insides was the stress she'd put on herself since the last day of I-Land; she could feel it all.

the young girl climbed out from her bed, careful as to not trip on any stray shoe that may've been left by her team members. she headed straight to the bathroom, not saying her usual good morning to the others as she'd done since she got comfortable with them in I-Land.

she looked in the mirror after closing the door. she hadn't, couldn't, slept the night before, and you could tell. her eyebags were very prominent on her tan skin; her hands couldn't stop shaking. why are you freaking out so much?

eventually the 8 left the dorm for practice, something NaRi was surprisingly dreading more than the others. she'd never dreaded going to practice as much as she was at that very moment. c'mon NaRi, stop with this.

the boys had noticed their only female members sudden change in spirit. could it be the early wake up? possibly. the two maknaes were always almost impossible to wake up. could it be she was tired from practicing so much and doing so many online shows since debut? possibly. they had done a lot. but then again, she had trained for over 6 years, so why would that tire her out so much? no one could guess the mental state their NaRi was struggling through that morning. she was planning on keeping it that way, even if it'd hurt her.

throughout the practice, NaRi could only keep her eyes on two places. herself, when she was in front of the mirror; and the floor, when there was any possibility she'd make eye contact with any of the boys. they all noticed this, but didn't say anything as they knew she usually got over things relatively quickly.

but she danced and performed as usual. no breaks in her voice when her parts came, no tumbles when she danced, no part not perfectly executed. she just wasn't being her usual mood-making, cuddly self. she'd seclude herself in a corner by herself when they'd make individuals practice by themselves, when usually she'd go and cuddle up beside Jay or HeeSeung every time she got the chance.

after practice, she left alongside the group, still not speaking a word and eyes glued to her phone. how she wanted so badly to talk to someone and let her thoughts out, but she didn't want to break. so she let it be.

she sat in the makeup chair before any of the boys, her process always taking triple the time it took for one of her boys to get done. she threw her stylist 언니 a tiny grin before letting her start the long process. maybe this will help me feel better? i hope?

the boys watched as she avoided looking in the mirror, something she never did because she loved seeing how pretty she'd gotten since her early training days. but one boy watched more intently than the others—this all truly hurt Heeseung the most; he's the one that's been around NaRi for years. he's the one that's helped her when she'd have her mini breakdowns when one of the BigHit artists had gotten hurt in another country and she couldn't be there to cuddle them back to health. he's the one she's been able to count on for anything and everything for years. why couldn't she come to him? why hadn't she? what had he done to make her upset with him? why won't she just-

"hey. it's okay. i feel the same way."

Heeseung snapped out of his thoughts and turned to look at the younger boy. he did. he's someone she's looked at as a big brother since they got put in the same group.