Summer Of Secrets: A Fifty Shades Of Interracial Love Spin-Off

Chapter Nine

Christian

I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of, but letting Destiny get away was one of my biggest regrets. The very last time I saw her, she had have Anastasia a much needed ass kicking, before storming out and never looking back. I tried fighting for her, I really did, but she refused to have anything to do with me. Even after refusing to sign the divorce papers, I continuously tried my best to win her back, but when I finally realized that she was gone forever...I gave up. Not on just trying to win her back, but on life itself. For months, I neglected everyone and everything around me, burying myself in my work. That was what my life consisted of now. Working all day, then going home and drinking my sorrows all night, only to wake up and do it all over again. The pain never went away though, no matter how much I drank, I still had that ping of pain in my chest.

As the months passed, I slowly started feeling a little bit better, despite feeling like absolute shit about myself. Everyone around me hated me for what I had done to Destiny, but still tolerated me because I was either related to them or I was their employer. The only person that seemed to be happy about Destiny leaving me, was Ana, who made it clear that she still wasn't giving up on me. Giving up on us. She came by my house every single night, unannounced, trying to seduce me and it never worked. That is...until one night, she caught me in a vulnerable state, and needless to say...I took her into my red room and had my way with her. I punished her in the worst possible way, but she liked it and kept begging for me, so I gave it to her. After that night though...I instantly regretted it. I regretted sleeping with Ana, only because a couple of weeks later...she had come to tell me that she was pregnant with my child. I was shocked, angry, confused, and most of all...disappointed in how I let my guard down. How could I? How could I impregnate the woman that caused me to lose the love of my life, creating this sad, pathetic excuse of a man?

Nine months later, Ana and I welcomed our son into the world, Theodore Raymond Grey; and the moment I held him in my arms for the first time...I finally felt a twinge of happiness again. He might've been an accident, but he was the best accident I could ever ask for. Unfortunately, I was raised right and decided to do the noble thing, which was ask Ana to marry me and of course...she accepted. We decided to elope, because I knew my family wouldn't be happy about this news, and they weren't. Elliot and Mia especially. My parents, on the other hand, supported me no matter what and that's exactly what I needed in my life. Love and support.

I tried my best to make it work with Ana, but it wasn't the same as how it was when I was married to Destiny. Ana and I fought a lot, but it was never over things that made sense. If I chose to spend time with Teddy, instead of taking her to the red room, then she'd start an argument with me and threaten to take our son and leave. She knew exactly what to do and say to get under my skin, and I couldn't hate that woman anymore then I already do. So, once a week, I performed my husbandly duties and took Ana into the red room, giving her what she wanted no matter how much I didn't want to. And she was satisfied, for the most part, and I finally felt as if I could breathe again. That is...until Ana told me that she was pregnant. Again!

I never felt so powerless. Like I didn't have a single control over myself and I hated it. I hated every single moment of it, but the only good thing that came out of all of this were my kids. Teddy and Phoebe were everything to me, even though I hated the woman that gave birth to them. Sometimes, I'd pretend they were mine and Destiny's kids, but it was pointless to imagine that because Teddy looked exactly like me, with a few of Ana's features, and Phoebe looked exactly like Ana, with a few of my features. It was wrong, I know that, but a part of me will never stop wondering how things would've turned out had Destiny not divorced my worthless ass. Would we have had kids? I'm sure we would've had several kids, with the way we used to go at it! I could never get enough of her and I bet she even smelled and tasted the same. So fucking amazing.

When I heard her voice last night, I was for sure that my mind was playing tricks on me like it used to do before, but surely enough...it was her. My Destiny. In the flesh. She looked exactly the same from the very last time I saw her, minus the obvious weight loss, but she still looked beautiful nonetheless. It was as if I was seeing her for the first time all over again, and till this day...she still took my breath away.

I'm sure you could imagine my surprise when I found out she remarried and had kids, but what did I expect? For her to be single for the rest of her life? Of course not! And because the universe has a cruel sense of humor...her daughter had to have an accident on my property, so that we'd have a reason to run into each other. Sure, we also had Audrey and Elliot's vowel renewal ceremony, but I wasn't planning on going to that until of course...I found out Destiny was going to be there. I'm not sure what I expect will happen, but I was looking for any excuse to see her again, and thanks to my mother...I would be seeing her again sooner rather than later.