Fire and Ice

Staying Strong

The New Years' had come and gone, leaving a few days left... before Tsukasa would be leaving again for France. Tsuki knew that her time with Tsukasa had run to an end... she couldn't keep up anymore. 

It wasn't that she was unhappy about the relationship that she had with Tsukasa right now... but this was going to be her only chance to let Tsukasa go... before she would find herself chaining him to her. She didn't want to be the reason to hold him back from his grand dreams, compared to her goal... it seemed like nothing.

"Was it.... really ok for the two of us to be together?" Tsuki found herself wondering, looking at the mirror at her reflection. Her usually kind smile and eyes, were both stoic and calm.

"...If I weren't around... then Eishi could reach heights he could never reach." Tsuki muttered to herself. "Eishi... he's being shackled up by staying with me..."

"Even then... can I still be with him? I want to be with Eishi and... I'm sure he feels the same way... But... the direction both of us are taking are now completely different... As long as we're together... we're stuck."

Tsuki recalled all the words others had spoken about their relationship over the past few years... all the hate mail she received in her second year, the bullying caused by Elvira... what Rindo had done... yet she still chose to forgive them.

"Is it... because I can never find myself to let go of things?" Tsuki looked into the mirror... to see a silhouette of a brown haired woman behind Tsuki, hugging her tightly. Tsuki closed her eyes.

"That... I wouldn't mind getting hurt over and over... if it meant they would stay."

"Because... losing someone who's alive.... is miles worse than losing someone who's gone."

"We can't even take a single step towards our own goals."

Over the next few days, Tsukasa had come by Yukihira's while Asahi had errands to run for Yukihira's.... now that they were closed. "I guess for the time being I'll be a bit busy." Tsukasa nervously laughed. "There's a lot to pack after all..."

"...You can't miss a step on your road anymore." Recently, hearing Tsuki's tone made Tsukasa feel weird. Even though it sounded like advice... it sounded distant, like she didn't want the boy to approach her.

"You have to walk straight ahead. A lot of people think highly of you so you can't falter anymore."

"No... it's nothing like that..." Tsukasa frowned. "Are you alright Tsuki? The way you're talking... is kind of lonely."

"It's as if you're saying.. I should be walking alone."

"..." There was a silence between the couple.

"Why... Why aren't you denying that?" Tsukasa asked.

"...I'm different from you." Tsuki thought to herself. "I... I can't go any higher than this... but you can."

"You're... with me, Tsuki, right?" Tsukasa asked, looking into Tsuki's eyes with worry in his eyes. Peeking from underneath his neck, Tsuki could see the necklace that had his promise ring he had bought during his first year of dating Tsuki. 

"Yeah.. I want to.. That's all I'm saying..." Tsuki sounded unsure, which Tsukasa perceived it was because of his soon to be departure day.

"Yeah... be with me. Always." Tsukasa smiled, holding Tsuki's hands. On Tsuki's hand, her own ring could be seen on her finger. Instead of feeling relieved like how Tsukasa wanted her to feel...

All Tsuki could feel... was the guilt piling up, the thought of dragging down Tsukasa...or even Asahi. 

No matter how many jobs Tsukasa had been offered, he'd deny offers if there was overlap with time he could spend with Tsuki.