Breaking Down

Chapter 35:

Breathe Jessa. Just Breathe.

I swallowed back my nerves as I waited anxiously for Nate's decision on what he would do to me. There was something dark in his tone that only ever came out when he was angry. He was going to find a way to demean me in front of the room more than he usually did. There was something different I didn't recognize this time. The big bad wolf was huffing and puffing, trying to blow the house down. He hadn't even realized yet that I had left the door wide open for him to walk right in.

Tonight I had felt true humiliation deep inside my bones in the car with Cam. Nothing Nathan could ever do to me could make me feel worse than what Cam had made me feel. It couldn't even come close.

I sat and waited, growing more and more impatient as the seconds passed. They were still debating around the room about what they thought he should do. They were hyping him up with insane ideas. Some of them were actually funny and made me laugh. They were still degrading and vile, but points for creativity. These guys had watched too many adult movies. Nate shot the fun ideas down immediately.

"Anyone got a belt?" Nathan asked the room.

Keith walked over and undid his buckle and pulled it out of the loops to hand to Nathan.

Shit.

Of all the things he could do to me, this was one I wasn't prepared for. Nate liked to be rough, but he had never gone this far with me before. I took a deep breath and steadied myself. It was time for the bad Jessa to show everyone how strong she could be. I took off her shackles and unleashed her on the world.

"Get Ready, Jessa. I want to hear you scream." Nathan said.

I closed my eyes and could hear the whistle of the belt fly through the air. With a loud crack, the leather made contact with my bare skin. The sharp sting spread over my body and down areas that weren't even touched. Nathan wasn't holding anything back. He wasn't doing this for the group's amusement; he was doing it to hurt me.

I didn't cry out like he wanted; I barely flinched. I just closed my eyes and swallowed my screams back down inside.

"Come on, Jess. I told you to make some noise." He pulled back and hit me again. I sunk down a bit from the contact as the fire spread across my backside.

"Did you even hit her? Maybe she didn't feel it because of your girly arms." Keith poked at Nathan. The rest of the guys in the room began laughing at him.

Nathan was furious because I wasn't writhing in pain for him and Keith wasn't helping the situation. Nathan was going to take it out on one of us and unfortunately, the easier target was the one bent over with her bare ass hanging out.

"Fuck off." Nathan said, angrier than before. He pulled back and struck me again. This time it hit me just at the top of my thighs. My eyes began to water as the ache began to grow. I still stayed silent; he wasn't going to hear me make a peep. I would never give him that satisfaction.

"Maybe you aren't doing it right. Let me try." Keith said. He grabbed the belt from Nathan and swung it with every ounce of strength he had.

I collapsed down lower and laughed into the fabric of the chair. My skin was burning and felt like it was falling off my body.

Any semblance of my normality was thrown out the window into the frozen air. Bad Jessa had gone completely hysterical; she was climbing up the walls inside my brain. She wanted to push him even further just to see how far he would go this time.

"What's so funny?" Nathan hissed.

"Harder, please." I said as I stood back up and bucked my hips back out for him.