Breaking Down

Chapter 16:

           "Jess, sweetheart, you're back. Did you like the video?" He opened his eyes and smirked at me, interrupting my thoughts.

            I shook my head no and hung it low.

           "Are you jealous, sweetheart?" He asked, mocking me. "Get over here."

           I walked over to him and he pulled me down over his lap. He slid his hands up and down over my hips and then grabbed my butt, squeezing it hard.

          "Don't worry, Jess, she didn't mean anything to me. It was just a blow job." He buried his head between my breasts. "You're still my best girl."

          "Are you going to sign her?" I asked insecurely.

           "She may be great at giving head, but she is a terrible singer." He laughed, reaching his hand between my legs to run his thumb over me.

           "Why did you lie to me?" I asked, confused.

           "It was the only way to get you to come by. I missed you." He moved my hair off my neck and began biting and sucking at the skin below my earlobe. "Let's go up to the loft for a bit. I have a present for you up there."

            "What is it?" I said, smiling down at him.

             "You'll see." He moved my hair to the side and began biting my neck. He grabbed my breast and squeezed it. "Mmmm...you are so fucking hot."

              He reached down and patted my ass before pushing me off his lap. Nate grabbed my hand to lead me upstairs to the little apartment loft above the studio. When we got to the door, he moved behind me and covered my eyes with one hand. The little excited jumping beans inside my stomach were having a field day.

            What was going on?

            Nathan opened the door and then wrapped his hand around my waist. He pulled me against him and walked me blindly through the room. When he stopped going forward, he removed his hand from my eyes. I was staring at a bottle of Jack, a bottle of pills, and a baggie of white powder that wasn't sugar.

            I froze. I was just starting to come back from my low. The new medication I was on was still trying to stabilize me. If I did this today, it could swing me the other way. I couldn't risk falling off and having to go back to the treatment center.

           "Nate, I can't." I whispered. "I made a promise to my family that I would stop for a little bit."

           "You don't like it?" Nate said, frowning at me.

            "It's not that. I just can't do this stuff with my new meds." I said, trying not to sound ungrateful.

            "Then don't take them tonight. I want to celebrate. Just you and me." He leaned in and kissed my neck. Shivers ran down the whole length of my body.

            "Celebrate what?" I asked, trying to keep myself together.

             "I just booked you a tour. We hit the road in two weeks to play every dive bar east of the Mississippi." He turned me around and smiled, kissing my mouth.

            "What!" I screamed in shock. "But what about the demos?"

            "Fuck the demos. Jessa Miller, live in concert. I even managed to get you a tour bus worked into the deal." Nathan said as he reached around to grab the bottle of Jack. He pressed it to my lips and tilted it up to pour it into my mouth. I took a few gulps before reaching back for the bottle of pills.