•1981•Nikki Sixx•

51. I'm Mad

"1,2,3,4!" I shout into the microphone.

The band then started to play our song called Velvet Love. We all jammed out on stage.

I danced about crazy and was loving life. I then run beside Kaizü and we both sing into the microphone as she shreds the guitar.

Soon our song was finished. The audience cheered like crazy. I looked at the band and smiled brightly, and laughed.

"Good evening New York City!" I shout.

I then look over to the side stage to see all the boys watching and their jaws hitting the floor. This is the first time we had ever played in front of them.

"Tonight we are joined by, Mötley Crüe, Skid Row and Guns N Roses! A round of applause for those dudes please!" I say.

The audience cheer and I smile at them as I wipe the sweat away from my forehead.

"But before we get to those talented souls we have a little performance for you all." I say.

The crowd scream and I hear some people shout 'i love you!' and 'you guys are my idols!'

"As well as performing our songs we are gonna do some covers too!" I excliam.

The crowd all scream once more.

"Well, on with the god damn show." I say.

The band begin to play again.

The feeling I get when I perform is a feeling like no other. We played a lot of our own songs and then we played Pour Some Sugar On Me, Sweet Little Sister, My Michelle and Girls Girls Girls.

We finished our performance and the band and I all came to the front of the stage while taking a bow.

The crowd make every noise possible. People whistled, screamed, cheered. I grabbed the mic and turned it on one last time for the night.

"Goodnight New York! Next up we have.. Skid Row!" I shout.

We all made our way off stage. Doc and Tom handed us oxygen masks and we stuck them to our faces.

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes and Skid Row began to play their set. We took the masks off and got bottles of water.

"You guys rocked!" Exclaimed Duff.

"Thanks!" I say breathless.

"Dude, that was amazing." Says Tommy walking over. He looked nervous.

I hugged him tight and whispered in his ear 'its all good.'

He smiled and I pulled away and saw Nikki standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"You did good, amazing actually." He says.

"Thanks." I respond, before walking off to my dressing room.

When I get there I get changed into jeans and a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt.
I put on my Doctor Martin's before getting my bag and watching everyone perform.
~
Everyone's performances were amazing. The full show was brilliant. I was making my way back to the hotel room when I heard someone running behind me. I turn around and see Nikki running over to me.

"Can I please see them?" He asks.

"Of course, they are just here." I say pointing towards the door.

I unlock it and we walk in to see the boys watching some kids cartoon. They turn around and see Nikki and I. They smile and at the same time say 'Da-Da.'

"Wait Nick can say Dad?" Asks Nikki surprised.

"Yeah, he has for about 3 months." I say.

He frowns and then walks over to them and hugs them. The boys crawl over over Nikki and I watch feeling emotional.

What happened to this? My happy little family. We were together and now look.

"Nikki I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Why didn't you talk to me for six months?" I ask wiping a tear.

"Honestly I don't know. Well about 6 months ago I slept with a girl. I met her at the bar. I thought you knew and didn't wanna speak to me again. Also I'm still on drugs and didn't think it would be wise to be around the boys."he says.

"Okay first of all, when you signed the divorce papers I knew you were gonna sleep with other girls. I knew that for a fact. I saw it today! You were with some girl. Second of all about the drugs, why didn't you just tell me that?" I ask.

"Wait so you weren't mad at me about the girl?" He asks confused and surprised.

"No, I'm mad at you because you didn't see the kids." I say.

There is a moment of silence.

"You know Nikki. When I first met you I thought our life would be perfect. I thought we would be together and nothing could stop us. But something did, drugs." I say sobbing.

He stands up and walks over to me. He hugs me and places a kiss on my head as I sob hard into his chest.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." He says as tears escape his eyes.

I pull away from the hug and look at him in the eyes.

"Will you ever get clean?" I ask.

"Yes, I want to be with you Ally. I still love you, I love you so much. I need to get help I know and I'm trying but it's not easy and..." He was about to finish his sentance but he started to cry.

I walked closer to him and hugged him for a second before pulling away and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"I will wait for you Nikki."
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