The Fleshly Dark (Darkiplier x Reader, Markiplier x Reader)

First Shadows

Grocery shopping is boring at best and excruciating at worst; today it's excruciating. You haven't eaten in 8 hours and you're just in time for the pre-dinner rush. So, you're probably going to be stuck here for another hour. Fuck. As you're fantasizing about how much you wish that a single karate chop was enough to knock someone out in real life, you hear a familiar voice. Thank goodness, some blessed respite from the soul-crushing boredom!

It's Mark (AKA Markiplier). You poke your head out of line and wave to him "Mark, There you are! I asked you to grab the other stuff like 20 minutes ago!" He looks confused until you mouth the words "save me".  He then cuts in line and says "Sorry, it was hard to find it all." The two of you small talk and joke around until it's your turn at the cash. You pay for your groceries and go to say thank you to Mark for going along with your little scheme (though you suspect he didn't mind considering that it meant he got to buy his stuff and leave sooner too) but all that comes out is an enormous stomach growl. You turn bright red and run all the way to the car, not looking back even once.

Back at home:

Your soul is dead and you killed it. You had a chance to casually invite him out or something and your dumb stomach blew it! You tear into the bag of chips you bought and end up eating it all in one sitting in a mixture of frustration, regret, and crippling embarrassment. Upon finishing the bag, you realize you are covered in crumbs and you apparently rubbed your salty, greasy hands on your shirt. "Real sexy. Maybe I did myself a favour by running away like an idiot. Clearly having dinner with him would have gone badly if this is how I eat." You sigh and decide to take a shower. You must cleanse yourself of this awful day. It takes you about two and a half minutes to find the right temperature since your plumbing would prefer to only have two settings: "the Arctic Circle" and "Satan's Fiery Asshole". 

You're lathering up your hair when you see a shadow dart across the shower curtain. You don't hear anything though, and you assume it was just your stupid cat that decided it was done waiting for you to finish showering. Then you realize that: 1. You didn't take your cat with you when you moved to LA and 2. Even if you had, your cat is most certainly not taller than you. "Great," you think "I'm starting to hallucinate people in my house from sheer loneliness." You finish washing and change into pajamas. "So what if it's only 7pm? It's not like I was going to go out again today."  Another part of your mind chimes in with "You might've if you hadn't fucked it up." You start streaming "Criminal Minds" on Netflix in order to drown out your thoughts. After watching for 8 hours and having some real food, you head to bed. Oblivious to the figure coalescing in the shadows.