The Fleshly Dark (Darkiplier x Reader, Markiplier x Reader)

Midday

He probably hates you now.

Yesterday, you tell him to come over and talk to you and then run away like a fucking idiot. Last night, you have a weird sexy nightmare about him that was maybe real? Then today, he comes to say "Hello" and you headbutt him in the face, break his glasses, and then try to run again. What the hell is wrong with you?! He probably thinks you're completely insane. You'll be lucky if he ever talks to you again after today.

You nearly smash into him when he stops at his house and unlocks the door. Much to your suprise, he opens the door for you. He catches onto it and says "I may be upset but I'm not going to force you to try and open the door when your hands are full." Bless this man and his seemingly infinite tolerance. You walk into the nicest house you've ever seen anyone under 30 own. Seriously though, he's 25, does internet videos for a living, and lives in the 2nd most expensive city in the country. Why does he have such a big house? You try to banish any thoughts of con men and murderers from your head. He is literally the nicest man on the planet but aren't most serial killers charming and seemingly trustworthy? Clearly watching eight hours of Criminal Minds last night was a bad idea.

What's this? You can now add "standing there gawking" to list of awkward things you've done around Mark. Great. It's right up there with "Headbutted him in the face at 7am" and "Laughed drunkenly so hard I shot vodka out my nose" that was not a proud moment in your life -- also, it really burned. You're still standing there idiot! "Ah shit!" you exclaim. "Was wondering when you'd come back to Earth. Now, your first task as my assisstant today is to warm that coffee. I also expect nice, hot buns" He said with an eyebrow waggle as he headed towards the stairs. "Why ask? You've already them!" You say to yourself, snickering. Except not to yourself because that was apparently out loud and Mark was very clearly within earshot. He sees your embarrassment and seemingly decides to brush it off as a friendly joke because he responds with a high pitched (or at least as close as he can get to high-pitched) "For shame sirrah! I ask for your aid in my time of need and you try to take advantage of an innocent maiden?!" as he ascends the spiral staircase.

He come down holding a wet cloth to his black eye and offers you one to put on your forehead. The cold water helps ease the swelling though there is still a noticable lump even after a couple minutes. Mark idly toys with his phone as he eats his breakfast, and after he finishes he takes a selfie of his bruised face "I'm going to say a bear punched me but I won." "What?" you reply in confusion. "Too late for objections! I posted it." he replies. "So what do you want me to do anyways?" You say. "I mean, you told me I have to help you today but we're just chatting. I mean, I don't mind. We haven't really had any chances to talk to each other for more than 15 minutes before now so it's nice, but it feels more like we're just hanging out than I'm paying you back for anything." He seems to ponder this for a moment then asks "Well, I'm not ready to head out again just yet, but it'll feel more like work if I ask you uncomfortable questions won't it? What's the thing there? *he pointed at the wound on your clavicle* It looks like a mark from either a very large piranha or a very small bear trap. Did you have that yesterday?"

You forgot to hide it! He hadn't mentioned it so you'd forgotten! "Wow Mark! That is a very uncomfortable question!" You respond with panicked sarcasm. He looks at you with steely determination, and you try to stare back but it just makes you feel more awkward. "To be honest, I didn't have it yesterday and I sort of...woke up with it."  You admit. He waits for you to tell him the "real" reason but after 30 seconds of awkward silence he finally realizes you aren't joking. He then immediately stands up from the table, checks his pockets, and grabs a jacket. "I changed my mind about going out right now." He declares in a serious tone as he grabs your hand and pulls you towards the door. "What? Why?" you inquire, blushing, as you struggle to keep up. "You probably need a rabies shot, and you shouldn't stay in your house until Animal Control gets rid of whatever it was that bit you." Mark said as he helps you into the car.  He only let go of your hand once you started to put on your seatbelt. He probably didn't even notice, or care, that he was holding my hand.

The ride to the hospital was oppressively quiet. You could hear every breath either one of you took. At least Mark was paying attention to you, albeit because he thought you had rabies but he still cared about your well-being which was nice. You were about to turn on the radio just to break the silence when Mark requested "Hey, ---? Don't lick me, okay? I don't want to get a shot too." The holy awkward situation defuser graces us again. "Damn! There goes my plans for the day!" You say jokingly, but you can tell it sounds a little stiff and nervous. You really don't want to get a rabies shot, but there is no way anyone would believe the truth even if you were willing to tell them. Besides, how do you know he didn't have rabies? Better safe than sorry right?