The Fleshly Dark (Darkiplier x Reader, Markiplier x Reader)

Dawn

Mark's POV

You wake up feeling kinda gross. Upon lifting off the covers you discover why; you had a wet dream. "What is this, high school?" You rub your eyes and put on your glasses. "Guess I should shower first...yuck." You drag yourself over to the bathroom and take a piss before you hop in the shower. "It wouldn't be so bad if I could remember the damn dream. I mean, what point is there in having fun if you don't remember having it?" You say. "Probably the same point as talking when no one can hear you Mark!" You retort in your Wilfred Warfstache voice. "I need to get out more." You finally sigh. You finish washing and dry yourself off. You dump the offending pajamas into a laundry basket then go back to your room to get dressed.

After getting dressed and taming your hair as best as you can manage, which isn't very well but at least it looks fine, you go downstairs and briefly contemplate making breakfast before deciding to do the lazy thing and just go to the coffee shop down the street. You regret not grabbing a sweater; you weren't expecting it to be so windy. The thermometer lies! You shove your hands in your pockets and start power walking. You swear the wind is coming from all directions and focusing solely on you. No one deserves this at 7am.

You enter the café and enjoy the blast of warm, richly scented air as you walk through the door. There were only six other people here this early including the barista and yourself. All your fellow customers were sitting in the four corners of the seating area. You briefly wonder if it would make them more uncomfortable if you sat smack in the middle or near one of them, but you notice the barista's questioning stare and realize you'd just been silently standing there in a daze.

You order a large coffee and a cinnamon roll and decide to sit near the only customer not staring at a newspaper or laptop. Turns out it's --- and while you thought she was staring out the window wistfully she actually just fell asleep on the table. You quietly put your breakfast down on the table. Her hoodie is falling off and you notice a mark, or something, on her collarbone. You lean in to get a closer look and... "Snnrk...WAH! I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOO..." *WHACK!* --- jolts awake and headbutts you in the face. Well, specifically your glasses... into your eyeballs. You both spend 10 seconds muttering explatives and grabbing your heads before you finally dislodge your, now bent, (seriously, is her skull made of concrete?) glasses from your eyesockets. "Is this how you say good morning to people? If so, I don't think we can be friends. I'm sorry.' you say as you rub your screaming eyeballs. She looks as if she is going to die from panic, dart through the window, or both. She seems to decide on running but you grab her wrist before she can get out of her chair completely. Your eyes still hurt like hell and you're seeing spots but you're not going to let her get away with this one. 

"You don't get to run away this time." You take off your glasses with your free hand and show them to her. "You owe me big time and I just happened to have some errands to do today."  You let go of her wrist so you can attempt to bend your glasses back into something resembling their original shape. After you put them back on, you can see she has a huge bump on her forehead. "Are you okay? That looks like it hurts." You ask. "I was more worried about you! You have a black eye. It looks pretty bad. It's about four different colours."  she admitted. You poke the area beneath your eye and twinge at the pain. "So apparently medical attention comes before breakfast. Your first task is to carry that home for me." *you gesture to your slowly cooling breakfast* It's only after you get up and start the walk home that you realize the two of have had the attention of the entire café for a couple minutes now. Not exactly what you imagined meeting with --- at a café would be like. You walk back to your apartment with --- following behind you in relative silence. The only words exchanged being some variant of "It's this way."

She probably hates you now.