Chasing Mr. Right

Chapter 21

The song for this chapter is Drive by Incubus. Follow the official playlist of Chasing Mr. Right at #CMRPlaylist on Spotify. Enjoy reading!

CHAPTER 21

NO, THIS CAN'T be happening. But as much as I try to make myself believe that none of this is happening, I can't deny the fact that it already happened. She had already seen us, the boy she loves and wants to be her boyfriend, and his lover's ex-boyfriend who she treats as her friend, kissing. Although I never really wanted what happened, what difference does it make? Part of me wants to blame everything on Kenzo, but I know that I have the greatest fault in all of this.

I can't blame this all on Kenzo, because first, he's drunk and he's not in the proper state of his mind. If I had been more careful, none of this would happen. But if I had not let my fear, again, get in the way of my telling the whole version of the truth to Anya from the very start when I found out that Kenzo befriended her, this might have not happened to me—to us.

Anya was just standing a few feet away from the two of us. The surprised look on her face is still evident. She looked so confused, and her eyes were like pleading for some explanation that both Kenzo and I can't give at this moment because we were also surprised. What do you say at times like this? Is saying that you didn't want what happened would help? I don't know what else could help me redeem myself to Anya, and I think, Kenzo was also horrified seeing Anya as much as I am.

I took a step forward to Anya but she just took a step away from me. I didn't have to be surprised, but I still am. What do I expect? Anya did nothing but love me, and this is what she gets in return? As well as with Kenzo. I know, for sure, that Anya has never been anything but good to him. Pero ganito ang ginawa namin sa kanya. And I can't imagine what's running in her mind now. If I know, then those things will probably bring me to tears. Because what if she's thinking that we are just using her? What if she's thinking that we betrayed her intentionally?

"You're Symon's ex-boyfriend..." she said, not in a tone of asking for confirmation. She said that as if she has put things together and came up with a conclusion. "You knew each other all along and you didn't tell me."

"Anya, your boyfriend has no fault in this. This is all mine."

I was even surprised when Kenzo has taken the blame for what Anya found out. I thought he would not do anything to make things right. I thought that he really wanted this to happen to ruin me and Anya. But why all of a sudden he's crying and devastated seeing Anya? As if her forgiveness is his lifeline.

"He's not my boyfriend..." Anya said. Her words are like a sharp knife that stabbed my heart.

When she looked at me, gone are those pleading eyes already. They suddenly look tired and as if she doesn't care anymore. Or maybe... she has shut herself down. So she could not let us in. So she could not care more about our explanations. And I hate seeing her like this. I hate myself!

Without saying anything, Anya turned her back from us and disappeared into the flood of people on the street. Kenzo cried harder, then he tried to fix himself to follow Anya but I stopped him in his tracks. He looked confused.

"I need to follow Anya. I need to explain to her. I'm sorry, Symon..."

He was about to walk away again, but I stopped him. I don't know why but he's making me feel like I should be angry, not at him but at his actions.

"Leave her alone, Kenzo. This is what you want from the very start, right? To ruin the two of us? Why do you think your explanation would matter to Anya now? Did you see her reaction? She would take no shit from me nor from you."