Chapter 4

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CHAPTER 4

"ARE THESE YOURS?" Scarlett asked, holding the books that came from Anya. "Mamahalin ang mga librong 'to, ah? Puro hardbound pa. You're really investing so much for law school, ah?"

Lumapit ako kay Scarlett tsaka kinuha mula sa kanya ang mga librong hawak nito. "First, there's nothing wrong if I'd invest so much for law school since that is my dream. Second, I didn't buy these books." I told her.

Prenteng umupo si Scarlett sa single couch. "I didn't say there is anything wrong with you investing so much for law school. It was actually meant as a compliment because I was amazed," Scarlett replied then shrugged. "But you said you didn't buy those books? So kanino galing?"

"Wala," mabilis kong sagot.

Hindi na nagtanong pa si Scarlett pero binigyan niya naman ako nang isang nakakalokong ngiti. Nagkibit-balikat na lamang ako at nagtungo na sa aking kwarto dala-dala ang mga librong binigay ni Anya sa akin. I shut the door behind me and locked it, then went to my bed and sat. Pinagmasdan ko muna ang mga librong hawak ko ngayon bago buklatin ang unang libro. Nang buklatin ko sa unang pahina ay doon ko napansin ang isang sticky note sa inside cover ng libro.

How to chase Mr. Right tip #2

If he asked for space, respect his request. Know your place but never fail to make him feel special :)

Symon,

I hope these books will help you with your advanced study. Mukha kasing nag-fail ako na tulungan ka talaga so sana matulungan ka ng mga librong binigay ko for you hehe sana nagustuhan mo rin! I'm rooting for you, future attorney!

Anya

Tila pagod na pagod kong ibinagsak ang sarili sa aking kama matapos basahin ang note na iniwan para sa akin ni Anya. Nakatingin lamang ako sa kisame habang pabalik-balik sa aking isipan ang mukha ni Anya, ang mga araw na magkasama kami sa library at ang mga pangungulit niya sa akin. Upon recalling those memories, I can't help but feel so special.

But I know she will eventually stop the moment she knows about the real me. Just like what other people did before. They would show interest in me at first but when they found out that I am a bisexual, they will just leave me behind, like I never meant anything for them.

"Sayang, ang gwapong lalaki pa naman pero gwapo rin ang hanap."

"Wala kang pag-asa d'yan. Lalaki rin ang hanap n'yan, eh."

"Girl, you like him? But he's a bisexual, you know."

Mariin kong ipinikit ang aking mga mata nang maalala ang mga salitang madalas kong marinig sa ibang mga estudyante. It is very annoying how other people make you feel that you are a huge disappointment just because of your gender. Just because some people couldn't accept someone for who they are, they are going to make them feel as if their gender makes them less of a human.

I am already used to those shits but still deep in my heart, it hurts so much because people would make you think and feel that you do not have a place in this world. Like you are just a toy that they could easily throw away just because they no longer like you. And I made up my mind that I won't allow people to treat me that way anymore.

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