Heartthrob J.H

Falling

Third person - 2 weeks later January 20 tw

Nikki hasn't been doing her best. She's at a big down in her life she can't go a day without relapsing cutting and worst of all she relapsed on her eating disorder....

It's been hard for her. She looks at herself in the mirror everyday thinking "why can't I be like them?"
"Why do I have to look like this?" She stays in bed all day demotivated. When ever her family calls her for a meal she pretends she's sleeping or she makes up some believable excuse. Nikkis a good liar a really good one. Only one and a half people could tell if she's lying or not and those people were Ryan and ally, which aren't with her. Mostly Ryan could only tell sometimes but on the other hand ally, ally knew everything. They could speak witho it even speaking she could tell if something was wrong by nikkis body language. She could tell what nikki was feeling. No one understood Nikki like ally did and no one else ever will. Nikki understood ally the same way too that's why ally's death hit Nikki hard

Nikkis constantly having bad dreams and writing scary notes that no one should hear because of how dark they are. She lays in bed all day her rooms a mess clothes everywhere her bathrooms a mess all her things all over the place

She's been planning on getting on the scale which isn't good at all it's only gonna send her in deeper. She's getting into her old habits except she can't workout anymore she just starves herself only drinking water. No one truly sees her body only she does. Wearing baggy clothes 24/7 so they don't see her body. She also suffers from body dysmorphia. She hates every single inch of her body. Her waist, her face, her eyes, her nose, her ass, her tits, her lips, her hair, her everything. Even though people would kill to look like her she doesn't want to be herself

She's falling and falling fast. Her depression is eating her up quick anxiety is sky rocketing she doesn't know how to control it. She just wants to be in control

On the other hand we have Jaden, Jaden isn't happy either. In a relationship he was forced into when the girl knew he liked another. He's in raged angry he wants to end himself because he knows if he breaks up with her he's gonna get exposed from the secret he's tried his hardest to keep. That's the one thing he didn't want anyone to know. He told mads because when they were dating before he trusted her and that trust was lost. He's sad and angry but is slowly starting to stop caring about the secret. He wants out of thi relationship

He feels terrible. Everyday with mads makes him feel even worse. Digging him into an even deeper hole. Every time she kisses him it's like he's getting stabbed in the heart. Jaden never kisses back thought. It's all staged.

He wants Nikki and Nikki only. He misses her body against his as they sleep, her jokes, her dark humour, her personality, getting high together, basically everything.

She's the only thing that could make Jaden calm but nervous with butterflies at the same time. Jadens been really anxious lately and he doesn't have Nikki to calm him. Mads... she telling him exactly this

"If you anxious just stop being anxious duh"

Like wha- no that's wrong.

Everyday he gets reminded of what he did to Nikki and he feels bad. The boys have gotten close to her they talk to her all the time but he hasn't talked to her in weeks. Ever since mads forced him into a relationship she never talked to him ever again

Both Nikki and Jaden want everything and everyone just to stop

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TYSM FOR 50K READSSS❤️❤️

Ok sorry I didn't update last night like I fell asleep pretty early

Anyways I don't recommend the next parts of the book if you can't read trigger warnings or you get triggered easily because you could probably tell what's coming next

Have a good day everyone tysm for all the reads❤️

🕷💥👄😱