Heartthrob J.H

Feb 8

Nikki's pov February 8th (aka Jadens birthday)

This morning i woke up around 12pm. I know late right. Well anyways i wake up and get ready putting on some black basketball shorts which are kinda short and go half way down my thigh and a black hoodie it's just plain though also a black sports bra. i have to leave soon to go to therapy which is at 3:00-4:00.

Outfit:

I walk downstairs to get something to eat. I've been doing well the past few days. I've been out of the hospital for 3 days and it's been good. I'm doing way better then before. Yesterday griff came over i talked to him a bit we hung out in my room Dixie there and charli too. It was good we watched some dumbass movie that was bad

I grab a piece of toast and i start eating it that's it trying not to think about the calories and all. I scroll through my phone to distract me and i see it's Jadens birthday. They smashed a cake into Jadens face he looked happy but sad at the same time. I was tempted to send happy birthday but i bet he's over me already which is fine. I haven't been on social media a lot but i know that him and mads broke up. I feel bad for him honestly. I didn't hear the full story but doesn't really matter i guess

I thought that the sway boys would be having a party for Jaden because it's his birthday but they aren't i don't think. Maybe their busy or Jaden doesn't want one. Who knows

For the rest of the time i waited to go to therapy i didn't do anything i watched tv that's about it. Scrolled through tiktok or whatever. Time really does fly by when you watch tiktok. It's already time to go. It's 2:30. No ones home right now doesn't bother me. See this is why i should have a dog. I'd never be alone.

I leave for therapy but text my mom before. It feels good to drive on my own though. I feel very independent.

Oh yeah and my therapist, her name is dr Silva but she says to call her dr tay instead. She's pretty young on the younger side of doctors actually she's really nice to talk to. I mean that's her  job, to be able to talk to people duh

Anyways i drive to therapy which is kinda far it's like a 25 minute drive there. I have to cross this bridge on a highway to get there. The bridge has like a weird place under it. It's just concrete and has plants. It looked like an old water place it had like a wall but it was weird

I get to therapy and I'm greeted by the person at the front desk

Jadens pov at 3:00 tw suicide dark thoughts

It's my birthday... yippie

I'm officially 20. I didn't want a party the boys asked why but I'm just not in The mood to be honest. I've been feeling really down lately liek really down. I've gotten high and drunk almost everyday i can't feel anymore I'm just numb. I'm done i can't do this anymore i wanna leave the earth I'm fucking done

Social media is giving me shit too. I know for a fucking fact mads is waiting for the perfect time to expose my secret but i don't fucking care at this point. She's faking it all and blaming it on me. I hate it so much. She's a fucking psycho

I just got off the phone with my mom by the way. She said happy birthday and all and how she wishes to see me right now but schedules collided. I don't know what i wanna do. I feel like dying i mean I'm already dead inside

I just wanna feel again. Feel loved feel like there's someone for me but i don't. Everyone's basically finished with me I'm being annoying at this point.

How would people be without me. They'd be fine i haven't done any good anyways I've only hurt people i love. My friends i don't know my family couldn't even come for my birthday. I can't blame them though they have their own lives to

I just wanna find a purpose. At the moment i don't have one and i don't think I'll ever have one. I should just die right here right now. Actually you know what I'm going on a little walk. Don't know if I'll ever be back

I get up from my bed and throw on a black hoodie and gray joggers and i walk outta my room

"Look who it is the birthday boy. Where you going" Bryce asks and he's live

"I'll be back later" i say scratching the back of my forehead

"Ok ok see you later. Wait we have a meeting later don't forget that it's at 4" josh says. Oh shit we do i just nod and walk away out the house

I start walking and walking i don't know how long I've been walking for but i check my phone and it's 4:17 and I'm walking at the side of the highway for some reason. Welp I'm late for the meeting

I'm at this bridge it's really high up. I put my hands on the rail and I'm breathing harshly almost pulling me hair out too. I sit on the rail there's a little ledge on the other side so i could rest my feet there. I look below to see the nothing but concrete with plants over grown plants.

I'm crying and sobbing. I could end it all here. Everything will be done just like it's meant to be. I'm crying i don't know if i should do it or not.

In the process of thinking i hear a voice of someone it's kinda high pitched and they say

"Hey hey what are you doing" they yell

—————————————————————-

I- jaden DONT!!

Guys question has this ever happened to you. Ok so say your with a friend. But in this case i was with my sister. Ok so we were at Starbucks and my sister says "you order our drinks" she tells me what to say and i like repeat it a bunch of times. But then once you get to the register you forget and stutter. Ha because that happens to me all the time. Then my sister tells my mom who gives me a lecture about how i have to be able to order because when I'm alone or older i have to do it on my own and i have to learn.

Ha anyways guys have a good day. There's a mf cliffhanger for you guys

😼❤️❤️