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peter sat in his bed starting up at the ceiling. tears had welled into his eyes and fallen down the sides of his face.. he just kept thinking about her.
he loved.. no he was in love with her a lot. because he can love many things like being spiderman or legos. but she just wasn't those things.. she was more.
like the way she smiled.. the way he felt inside every time he saw that beautiful smile. he had made her laugh or she was just so happy. he was happy that she was happy, they just made each other happy together. and peter imagined her head turning to him with a huge smile.
he was in love with the way she was so interested in things that others found interested, even if she didn't like them. like when she wasn't that interested in star wars but she pushed everything aside to be able to watch it with peter so she could see why peter was in love with it. she wanted to be interested in it too.
"peter just let's watch it!" lily whined.
"but you said you didn't like it the first time, i don't want to force you to like it," peter shrugged
"no it's fine, i want to watch it because you like it, and i want you to be happy," lily took the remote from his hand and turned on star wars
maybe it was the way she loved reading. her last letter literally had book recommendations.
"see i really like this store, every time i walk in... it always makes me so happy, like i feel like i'm home, you know?" she asked pointing at a book store.
"yeah," he smiled thinking about how she made him feel that way.
he was in love with how she wanted to save the world
"oh saving the world you know how it goes," she laughed and continued to fight off someone trying to grab her leg.
he loved so much things about her but that did not ever beat how much he loved HER. just her.
like yes those things make up of her. but they weren't her.
she made him feel so much better when he was down, she was there to help him when he was hurt, she was there when he had nightmares about her being gone.
she wasn't just a pretty girl with a really great taste in books. she was so much more than that. she was lily stark, the girl who was homeschooled her whole life but was able to survive one her hard high school year with amazing grades.
he loved how contagious her presence was to him. when she was gone he felt empty like he was missing something.. like now.
he loved how she would laugh at all his jokes even if they were dumb and not funny.
he loved the way she would brighten and room by just walking in.
he loved her personality.. she was so funny and kind, and selfless she wanted to make sure you were okay before she was.
he was in love with her... and he could not live with our her being there...
he missed her so much, for it just being two days since the accident.
"peter?" may knocked at his door, and peter looked up at her.
"yeah?" he replied.
"are you okay?" she asked walking in so she could sit on his bed.
he didn't answer for awhile but sat up, "no.." he trailed off. "i loved her so much it hurts. why does it hurt so much. why didn't i just run and get her out of there, there was enough time. i could've done it. why did i distract her from keeping that helicopter up. this is my fault. i just want her to hug me and tell me everything's okay and we can watch disney movies together," he rambled.
"i know peter i know," she rubbed his back.
"i just wanted more time with her," he cried into his aunts shoulder.
they say there for a long time before peter finally fell asleep.. dreaming of her
kk speaks! soooo... second to last chapter- i pinky promise tomorrow is the best one yet just wait
