Chapter Twelve- Decisions

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~~Beth's point of view~~

Chase and Maverick have been gone for a while. I kind of feel uncomfortable. LeClere has barely said a word. I also feel Joshua staring a hole through me.

Joshua: "We need to talk, Beth."

Beth: "Ok."

We step out into the hall. He pulls me to the waiting room.

Joshua: "Are you happy?"

Beth: "Yes."

Joshua: "Did he force you?"

Beth: "No. Joshua, he's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

I tell him everything. He's the one person I trust enough to share our story with.

Joshua: "You're being serious?"

Beth: "Yes."

Joshua: "Damn, Beth, that sounds like a damn fairytale."

Beth: "Hearing his Mom describe her journey, I felt the same exact way. Then I experienced it for myself."

Joshua: "So, you think you're going to have a baby?"

Beth: "I do."

Joshua: "I know you, Beth. You may be happy, but something is holding you back."

Beth: "We have two different lives. I love him. I want to be with him, but I have a job. A job that I absolutely love. I can't walk away from Lillian and my nieces and nephews. Either way, my heart is going to be broken."

Joshua: "You struggle with wanting to be with your husband and not wanting to let anyone down."

Beth: "Yes."

Joshua: "Beth, you've been everything to everyone for so long. When is it going to be time for you to put yourself first?"

Beth: "That's what I did there. The whole ride back, this has eaten at me."

Joshua: "Can you walk away from Chase and not want him? Not love him? Not lose it when he finds someone else?"

Beth: "No. I can't walk away from y'all's babies either."

Joshua: "Which one would hurt less?"

Beth: "They would both be the same. Chase would leave me severely damaged."

Joshua: "He loves you, Beth. It's written all over him. Your heart isn't the only one that would be breaking."

Beth: "I know. This has me so torn."

I'm going to mess with him to break the tension.

Beth: "Chase and I should take you to the island."

He laughs.

Joshua: "Fuck that. I'm good."

Beth: "You sure?"

Joshua: "Yep. My shit is already fucked up enough."

Beth: "That would clear it up for you."

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