To Have and To Hold: Sirius Black

Stars in the Darkness

   If I knew anything, it was that my parents could take my mind off of anything. They'd always be there to make me laugh, make me smile, and I'd always shake my head at their ridiculous antics, but eventually, they were obliged to leave Lily and James's home for work at the ministry, and I could only wave while I watched them disapparate.

It had been several hours since James had woken up, but Sirius was still unconscious. Of course, I was worried, I found myself pacing around the living room, hand on my belly, thinking of every worst possible outcome that could occur. 

"He'll be alright, V, he always is," James whispered in my ear as he hugged me from behind.

"I'm scared James, more scared than I've ever been. He could've died, or it could've been you." I acknowledged, my voice slightly shaking.

"But we didn't, we're still here to fight another day."

"What will Voldemort think, or his followers? I told them Sirius was switching sides, told them that's why I married him. Now a gang of death eaters almost killed him, how do I explain this?"

James sighed, sitting on a chair adjacent to the couch, "Don't go to any more of his meetings, it's getting too dangerous."

"I agree with James," Lily started, "You're five months pregnant, you shouldn't risk it."

"How will that look? I suddenly stop showing up to meetings, when I'm supposed to be a loyal follower, conveniently after my husband gets brutally injured? They'll know I'm a traitor, every single one of us will be an even bigger target." I replied, shaking my head.

I felt like a selfish mother. I was putting not only my life, but my child's life on the line, but at the same time, I was also trying to protect our lives. I was getting caught up in my overthinking when I was pulled out of my thoughts when Sirius started to stir.

I ran to his side, dropping onto my knees and taking his hand in my own, "Sirius? Are you awake?"

His eyes fluttered open, a slight smile lining his lips, "Vic? I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. How do you feel?" I asked urgently, examining his body.

"Sore, but I'm all right now that you're here." He replied breathlessly. 

Some of the weight weighing on my shoulders lifted, Sirius had that effect on people. My husband, the love of my life, my person, was going to be okay. For now.

I stared at the man in front of me. His gray eyes that had comforted me on so many restless nights, his windswept hair that always managed to fall perfectly just above his shoulders, his perfectly chiseled jawline, every single aspect of Sirius Black was flawless. I had seen it on the Hogwarts Express all those years ago when we first met, he had taken my breath away, and to this day he continued to overwhelm me with his irresistible aura. 

I knew that I loved Sirius to the moon and back, more than I ever thought I could love a human being, but seeing him on the brink of death, not knowing if he was going to survive, made me realize just how much I really needed him. He was my lifeline.

The power he held over me, if anything ever happened to him, I would break. Like precious porcelain being shattered on the floor, unable to be repaired, that's how I would feel if I ever lost him. My emotions revolved around the man of my dreams, and I was carrying his, our, child.

I couldn't wait to start a family with him. 

I could be drowning, six feet under, but he could utter a single word, call my name just once, and I'd go to him. 

Just like my mum said only a few years ago, I was his moon and he was my stars.

He was my star. The brightest in the sky.

So maybe the war made us choose between life and death, separated those who chose good and those who chose evil, but it made me hold those I loved dearly that much closer, treasured them more than I thought possible, even through war, even through darkness, it made the stars shine that much brighter. My stars.

                                                                                        ***

I went back to school this week, which makes me want to bawl my eyes out every second of every day, but at least it's virtual right? School's just been so draining recently, I've been lacking all motivation, ugh it just sucks :(

On a more positive note, THANK YOU FOR 17.3K!!!!!! It means the world to me :)

XOXO,

SiriusBlackLover <3

QOTD: Favorite ship?

AOTD: Obviously Virius, they're my babies :)

Vote if you enjoyed it!