To Have and To Hold: Sirius Black

To Be Loved

After my talk with Dumbledore, I wandered back to the Gryffindor portrait hole and made my way to the girl's dormitories where I quietly changed and laid in bed. My head was swirling with so many thoughts, I could barely sleep. When it was time to get up, I had barely secured an hour of rest that night, and my appearance showed that. My eyes had dark circles and I wouldn't stop yawning.

"Dear Merlin, Victoria, you look like shit!" Marlene commented while poking my face with her finger.

"Thanks, Mar," I said while pulling my covers up to protect myself from the stares of my roommates.

"Come on, we'll put some makeup on you, brush your hair, and you'll look wide awake," Lily stated while attempting to pull me out of bed. Lily put makeup on me and brushed my hair while I did my best to stay awake. Once we made our way down the stairs and Alice had to block me from laying on the couch, the boys noticed my sleepiness.

"Vic, are you okay? You look...tired." Sirius said with a concerned expression.

"Ugh, she's fine, but I am curious as to where you were last night, V, you didn't get to the dorms until well past 2 am," Marlene said with a wide smirk.

"2 am? Where were you?" James asked with raised eyebrows.

"I wasn't anywhere, I was just out," I said while making my way to the portrait hole, not noticing all of my friends sharing suspicious glances, "Anyway let's go get breakfast, I'm hungry."

We all made our way to the Great Hall where we stuffed our mouths with food until the Owls arrived. I noticed my owl, Owly, carrying a letter that must've been a response from my parents. I took the letter and pocketed it, so my friends couldn't see their answer about the unbreakable vow. After Potions, where I successfully fell asleep twice, and a few other classes, I escaped my friends to make my way to the abandoned bathroom where I opened the letter.

Dear Victoria,

   Your father and I are extremely happy this year has been going well for you, although we want to be filled in on what exactly has made this year eventful *wink wink*. Anyways, I can't help to be alarmed by your question on the Unbreakable Vow, but if it is to ease your curiosity I'd be happy to help. It all depends on the exact wording you use during the vow, you are bonded for exactly what you said. Anyways, yes our jobs are dangerous during this time, but your father and I have taken multiple precautions so please don't worry. Please do send more letters, we miss you dearly!

Love,

Mum and Dad

I closed the letter and placed it back in my bag and made my way to the courtyard where I saw Sirius sitting alone under a Beech tree. I walked towards him and he smiled at my presence and patted the spot next to him. 

"Hey, love where have you been running off to?" Sirius asked while I laid my head in his lap. 

"I haven't been running off, I've just been busy."

"Humph, whatever you say," A few moments went by before Sirius began talking again, "Are we gonna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Our kiss," Sirius muttered, "I've just been thinking that maybe it meant more to me than it did to you."

Of course, it had been days since our kiss and I've been so preoccupied with Regulus and Voldemort that I haven't said anything to Sirius. I had so many things on my mind, figuring out how to get out of working with Voldemort, meeting with Regulus, N.E.W.T.S this year, and spending time with friends.

"Sirius, I've been so preoccupied lately, I've barely had any time to think. The kiss meant a lot to me, what'd the kiss mean to you?" I asked nervously, hoping it meant something special.

"Look, I know in the past, I've been a player, but I like you, Vic, I have liked you for a long time and it meant a lot to me," Sirius said while twirling my hair around his fingers nervously awaiting my answer. I sat up and took his face with my hands, his stormy gray eyes connected with my blue eyes and we shared a kiss. Not a normal kiss, but a kiss that spoke of how much two people cared for each other, how much they desperately wanted each other. Then it hit me, I've been fighting my feelings for so long, not knowing how I truly felt, but this kiss seized any ounce of doubt from my thoughts and revealed my true feelings for Sirius.

I love Sirius Orion Black.

I would do anything for him.

I only hope my feelings wouldn't sacrifice his life.