To Have and To Hold: Sirius Black

The Burrow

   The birds chirping outside of the bedroom window, sun rays reflecting through the poorly closed curtains, dancing across the walls, the gentle breathing of Sirius next to her, Todo's croaky snores, everything felt normal for a moment, but that was it, just a moment. 

Sirius had accepted Mad Eye's offer, with much convincing on my behalf, and today was his first day of work alongside James. Sirius had debated with me for hours, coming up with every excuse on why he shouldn't take the job, most of his points were valid, but deep down he wanted to become an Auror, and I wouldn't stop him.

I watched the minutes on the clock tick by, waiting for the sound of the alarm to buzz, signifying that Sirius had to leave my side, jeopardize his life. It had become a routine to wake up before Sirius, counting the minutes on my fingers of each moment we were living, breathing. I often woke in the middle of the night, just to make sure Sirius was still breathing. It was foolish of me truthfully, but ever since he told Moody a few days ago that he'd accepted, I couldn't help but appreciate every moment he was alive.

Lily didn't like the idea of James leaving, at all, but she never told him to his face. She wore a mask, a mask that told anybody who looked at her that she was doing fine, but as soon as she was alone, the mask came off. Just like me, she was terrified, cried when she was alone, put on a fake smile to appease her husband, but she had never been so fearful. 

It's only his first day, I told myself, surely he won't be killed on his first day. I lied to myself, put the idea of his death in a tiny box, and locked it up, but somehow, my mind would force the box open, force me to think of the one thing I could never face.

Sirius being taken from me.

The clock sounded, announcing that my husband would be leaving soon, but I couldn't will my hand to shut it off, because that'd make it even more real. Sirius had awoken from his slumber, yawning and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, before he could comment, I pushed the button, ending the buzz. 

"Good morning, darling." Sirius yawned, rolling over, wrapping his arms gently around my torso, pulling me closer.

No matter what, Sirius could always make me smile, make butterflies flutter around in my stomach, and for that, I was happy, "Good morning, big day ahead of you."

"I can still call it off-" He started before I interrupted.

"No, you want to do this and I fully support you. Don't worry about me. I was thinking of going to the Burrow today, see if Molly has any parental advice." I mumbled into his chest as he rubbed his hand up and down my arm comfortingly.

"You also have a meeting today," Sirius stated through gritted teeth. He was still annoyed that Dumbledore would allow me to risk my life the way I was while pregnant, but I told him it was my choice and my choice only.

"I'm aware. I am excited to see Molly though, I haven't had a proper conversation with her in a while. She's got so many kids, it just feels so welcoming."

"I don't know how that woman does it, but she's a real-life superhero, six kids, maybe we should have that many."He replied jokingly.

After laying together for a few more minutes, our limbs entangled, he was forced to leave the warmth of the bed to get dressed and head to work.

"Good luck, please be safe." I pleaded as Sirius took a handful of floo powder.

"Anything for you and our little one." With that, he distinctly stated "Aurors Department, Ministry of Magic' and green flames engulfed him until he was gone.

I stared at the fireplace for a few moments until I heard a faint knocking at the door to our apartment. I raised my wand, a ball already forming in my throat as I peered through the peephole, only to be met with a red-lipped Marlene. I swung the door open, startling the girl in a warm embrace.

"I heard it was Sirius's first day." She affirmed, closing the door behind her as she entered my home, "But I have some exciting news." Before I got the chance to respond, she continued.

"Well, you know how Remus told us that he'd bought a small cottage? Well, I realized it's probably time to move out of my parent's house, being nineteen almost twenty, so I started apartment hunting and I found the perfect place. It happens to be in this very building." She mumbled, taking a sip out of the cup of tea I had just placed in front of her.

"YOU'RE GONNA LIVE IN MY BUILDING?" I shrieked, eyes as wide as saucers, this was news I needed to hear.

"YES!" She shrieked in response, wrapping me in a hug again, "Everyone's gotten a place to live, besides Peter, but that's not surprising, poor boy won't even leave his own house he's so scared."

"Something feels off, doesn't it? He never really shows up when we get together, he always leaves right after meetings, I don't know, something's wrong." I hinted from behind my teacup.

"Peter? I reckon he's just scared out of his witts, I wouldn't worry about it. Anyway, everyone's settling down, and believe me, I don't need a man, but I figure it's time to become more self-sufficient." She continued rambling about her plans, I knew she was doing her best to distract me from worrying, and thankfully it was working. 

She showed me the apartment she had put a down payment on, and it was on the same level as Sirius and I's, which made me internally happy. Now that Sirius had to work, I'd be alone more often and now that Marlene was only a few doors away, I felt extremely relieved.

"Well, I'm heading to the Burrow, if you want to join," I commented, brushing my hair with a brush after I had put on my flats.

"Molly's house?" Marlene asked, "Sure, I'd love to accompany you." 

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Gideon would it?" I asked, eyeing her through my handheld mirror.

"Gideon?" she asked, a blush singing her cheeks, "No, we're just friends."

"Just because you're a rock hard feminist doesn't mean you can't settle down with a man," I added nonchalantly. She sighed, a gentle smile pulling at her lips.

"I'm not sure how I feel, right now we're friends, and it's true, I don't need a man. I am all I need."

I did my best to hold in my smirk before we apparated to The Burrow. Immediately upon arrival, smoke was billowing from the chimney indicating a fire burning in the fireplace, the smell of cooking wafted into our noses, making my pregnancy cravings surge. Every time I entered the Weasley's residence, I felt right at home.

"Mrs.Black, Mrs.Black, Miss.McKinnon!" 

"Hello Percy, you can call me Victoria, you know." I smiled, ruffling the boy's hair. Before he could comment, two toddlers ran into the room, two twins.

"Fred, George, hello boys!" I hollered at the two ginger lads, charming as can be.

"Hi!" They exclaimed together, before wrapping themselves around my legs, holding on for dear life.

"Hello Victoria, Marlene!" Molly smiled coming into view, "I have a question for you Marlene, what have you done to my brother?"

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