To Have and To Hold: Sirius Black

It's Not Over

   A few weeks went by, I helped Lily plan her wedding since her parents were dead and her sister was unsupportive of her marriage to a wizard. Lily and James wanted to get married as soon as possible due to the war, which was wise. Sirius had been apartment hunting, he had just found a place and was working on moving his belongings out of the Potter's house. I slowly began packing my room much to my parent's dismay, insisting that they were happy for us but were sad that their only child was leaving the nest during a time of such uncertainty.

Dumbledore had finally started assigning us tasks, our latest one caused a run-in with a few death eaters, but due to our training, we were well prepared and escaped unharmed. Death eaters were approaching us whenever we left the house, trying to recruit us. I was anxious about Voldemort finding out I was still communicating with muggle-borns and 'blood traitors', but he hadn't sent a letter in a while which was comforting and frightening at the same time. Due to actually being able to duel with the intent to harm the opponent, I quickly realized that I was heavily skilled and advanced in spell casting. 

Sirius and I were closer than ever, never wanting to be away from each other for more than a few minutes. Every night, he'd stay the night at my house with me, I knew deep down he was terrified of losing me, already aware of involvement with Voldemort. He often would tell me just how much he loved me, whether he'd bring me flowers or shower me with his physical touch. Truth be told, I was the one who was terrified. The thought of losing Sirius, or my friends and family was gut-wrenching. I couldn't handle the thoughts swirling in my head of what could happen. 

Tonight, James and Sirius were doing a task together, making Lily and I pace around my house, worried for our companions. With a loud crack outside the window, we drew our wands and opened the door. We were met with two shadows, one supporting the other. We quickly realized Sirius was supporting James, who looked seriously injured. Lily and I rushed to their side and helped James onto the couch where we assessed his wounds. I chanted a healing spell, the one I used on Sirius and James earlier in the year, and watched his wounds close.

"What happened?" Lily asked frantically, combing her fingers through James's hair.

"They knew we were coming like they were expecting us," Sirius started, pulling me into a hug,  "There were four of them and two of us, we're lucky to have made it out alive."

"Knew you were coming? Are you saying you think there's a traitor in the Order?" I asked, worrisome building in my body. I tried to shake the thought of one of our members working for the Dark Lord, but I couldn't fathom the betrayal.

"We don't know, but how else would they have expected us?" James said, trying not to wince while sitting up, sipping on the water that Ringo had provided seconds earlier, "Sirius saved my life, dueled two guys at the same time."

At the next meeting, we told Dumbledore of our suspicions which he took into account while giving out tasks. Marlene and I were to tail Rosier and Malfoy tonight. After apparating and waiting for their arrival, we remained in silence, not wanting anybody to overhear us. Two figures, who were the death eaters we were to follow, went down a dark alley, we had no choice but to follow. After we eavesdropped on the discussion of them being interested in buying a chest of some sort that had dark abilities, we were corned by Rosier, Malfoy, Lestrange, and Mulciber. Lestrange shot a strange spell right at Marlene, which I blocked for her, and soon after a grim duel broke out.

"When will you be joining us, Windsor?" Malfoy directed at me, just low enough for only me to hear.

"I already told him I had a few things to tend to, I know what I'm doing Malfoy," I responded, also whispering. None of the spells fired at me were significantly dangerous, the casters knew I'd easily deflect them. It was reassuring to know that they still considered me to be on their side. Marlene on the other hand was being tormented with spell after spell sent her way.

"Spy are you?" Rosier cut in, also whispering while firing another spell at Marlene.

"Precisely," I replied, which I wasn't lying, I was a spy except I was a spy for the Order, not the other way around, "I'll be contacting him soon." With that, I blocked a spell aimed at Marlene, grabbed her arm, and disapparated. Marlene had a few spells hit her, causing her to cough up blood, and her cheeks had been slashed, gushing blood. I helped her into the Order headquarters.

"Malfoy, Mulciber, Rosier, and Lestrange knew we'd be there, Marlene got hit a few times," I told Dumbledore, helping Marlene onto a couch. Sirius rushed over, pulling me into a tight hug whispering into my ear.

"Thank Merlin you're okay. I was so worried." He murmured. I hugged him back, breathing in his scent before pulling away, telling him I needed to talk to Dumbledore, who took me into a separate room to chat.

"The death eaters are now under the impression that I'm spying on the Order for Voldemort. I told them I'd contact him soon as to not raise suspicion. They were asking when I'd be joining them." I told Dumbledore who merely nodded at my words.

"Very well, you'll owl him saying you're spying on the order for him. We'll have to feed him false information, but don't put anything too specific in the first letter." He responded with a piercing gaze.

Marlene wasn't hurt too severely, Dumbledore told me not to inform anybody of being a spy, if there was a rat in the order we had to keep my agenda secret. My friends knew the basics of my working for Voldemort, but I was told to keep it to myself, which I intended to do, except telling Sirius of course. Sirius and I apparated to my house again, he wasn't fully moved into his apartment, and until he was he'd stay with me. As I stepped inside my house, my head felt like it was being crushed. I heard voices saying one sentence over and over again in hushed whispers. I excused myself and fled to my bathroom, clutching my head with my hands. The whispers continued almost as if they were chanting. It was in a different language, but somehow I could understand it. 

nuair a bhíonn sé críochnaithe, níl deireadh leis

When it's over, it's not over.