Red Room Hours with John Tan

Primal

You remembered from your first conversation how he'd told you he'd planned to stay close for college because of his family, but his break up with Bree had been because she wanted to finish school away from home. He'd not instantly agreed to go with her and she'd cut him off, broken his heart. You'd been in his room Wednesday morning and these were not here, had he been hiding them? It came full circle, this was why he didn't want to come back to his dorm. He must have remembered he'd left them out.

You let them drop from your hands and stood, confusion and disappointment coming at you so quickly you could barely form your thoughts. You turned to his desk and saw a mess of opened envelopes, you crossed the room lifting them, these were college applications, information packets, and scholarship forms. They were all addressed to him in the dorm, what colleges sent these to students already attending other schools? They had to be requested to have received so many.

"Y/N, look at me, please." John had apparently been talking, the noise in your ears from the blood pounding into your head had muffled him. He'd gently taken your wrists in his hands and turned you toward him. "Look at me, I didn't want to bring her up tonight, that's why I didn't want to come here. I think Bree has been requesting these in my name, they've been arriving all week."

You blinked trying to focus on him, and looked down at the papers in your hand, Brooklyn College across the top, and let them drop to the floor. He didn't release you to pick them up instead continued softly encouraging you to listen to him. You finally focused and looked into his eyes they were attentive and clear, worried but not guilty.

"Why is she doing this?" Your voice was smaller and more pitiful that you'd have hoped, but the tears hadn't started yet.

"She's not getting her way, I blocked her. She tried to contact me through an old classmate but I blocked her too. She can't get my attention so she's being petty. When they started arriving I didn't think anything of them and just tossed them in my desk drawer but when they kept arriving I opened a few this afternoon. I realized they were college applications and it was probably her sending them to me. Who else would want me to go to an out of state school? My family would never encourage that."

It made sense, what didn't make sense was that John would suddenly change his mind about being close to his family and start requesting dozens of college applications from across the US. This had vindictive written all over it. You took a deep breath and nodded, you weren't going to cry, everything was going to be okay.

"I guess she's not going to ghost away again?" You released the breath and frowned at John who still looked concerned.

"What do you want me to do? Should I unblocked her and tell her to stop? Do I report her to the dean, but does that even make sense? She can always say she doesn't know anything about it." He brushed his fingers through his hair and frowned.

"It's just paper, toss them in the recycling bin and ignore them. Giving her a reaction is what she wants, even if it's you yelling at her or being mad."

"I was going to tell you about these, I just wanted it to be a more casual moment, maybe where we'd laugh about it. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen. I'm sorry Y/N." He pulled you into a hug and it felt good, pressed against his body, his warm hands at the small of your back. You leaned against him and relaxed, she could do what she wanted.

"John?"

"Hmm?" You suddenly wanted to feel powerful again, not pathetic and weak like comparing yourself to her had begun to make you feel. She didn't deserve to hold power over you both.

"What are you John?" You felt his body tense, the drop in your voice rolling over him. You decided to remind him where he belonged, wipe the thoughts of her away. He was responding exactly as you'd hoped as you heard him slowly draw in a breath. He hadn't wanted to bring her up tonight, and you certainly didn't want to spend any more energy on her either.