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RYA HAD SEEN IT  everywhere, every television show had presented it that way, every book, every person, even her mom. They all showed her that alcohol was the remedy to pain. At first she didn't believe it, thought it too stupid and futile to drown out your sorrows as to not let you feel but the pain she had in her heart in that moment had been too much therefore, she just went with it. Drank nearly a whole bottle of vodka.
All by herself.

She regretted it now, sitting in the darkness of the room, a headache betting into her skull, she definitely regretted what she did, why she did it.

Bad decisions lead to the baddest of situations but who would have thought that she'd end up there.

-Wednesday Afternoon-
-19th of december 2020-
-6 days before Christmas-

Rya's phone, on the cold mahogany floors of the empty apartment blared in the eary silence, the light shinning from it formed a sort of halo around the device masking it as some sort of saviour, when it was just a device, an object that was used as a messenger for the news that just made everything too much for her.

Waking up from the deep sleep Rya had been in on the couch, because of the noise, she patted blindly the space around her, looking for a way to shut the overwhelming sound coming from her phone. Not finding it where she had left it, right next to her hand, woke her up from her sleepy state and pushed her to get up and pick it up from the floor where she could see the light shining up from it.

She had to shut one eye tightly and rub the other in order to not fry her eyes out from the irritable bright light.

Seeing a missed call from her aunt Sacha, she quickly pressed on her name, itching to know why she would call her instead of text. Rya hated it when that happened and always made a point to act moody so it wouldn't happen again. Though she didn't get the chance to do that because as soon as her aunt picked up, she heard a sound that made her heart sob and her palms clench her phone harder.

Her aunt was shouting through the phone. Shouting that they were at the hospital. That it was time and that her Dad was on his way to get her there.

Doom descended upon her, making her crumble to her knees, something she had found to be so dramatic before when she saw it on tv but was overly justified in her head now. Her limbs couldn't hold her up from the shock. The idea that he was dead couldn't really get into her head, she couldn't fanthom that his life had been taken away by those masses of cancerous cells.

First stage of grief- Avoidance.

She tried telling herself that it was just a sick joke they were playing on her. That he was in his hotel room, all warm in his bed with his oxygen bag sitting next to him on a chair like she had seen so many times before. Rya kept telling herself that, she whispered reassuringly to herslef over and over "it's just a joke". Yet when the front door of the apartment unlocked rapidly and flew open, it dawned, crashed like a tidal wave upon her, and she sobbed and she palmed the neckline of her small t-shirt, almost ripping it, wanting to throw her pain onto something and she growled furiously and in anguish.

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