✓ flower petals || yang jungwon

015: alone

eunji's p.o.v

"What?"
I woke up out of nowhere, my eyes fluttering open.
Something in me clicked, waking me up in one snap.

Was this a dream?

I grabbed my phone and my expression immediately turned into a frown.

Without a doubt I've slept way too long, but to my luck it was only saturday, so there was no danger of me sleeping in for school.

My relief didn't last long - as much as I wanted it to - and soon my eyes widened.
"No..No, No, No, No, No please." I hurriedly scrolled through my messenger, while shaking my head vigorously.

This can't be real.

I blinked at Jungwon's messages hoping that they were just a hallucination of mine and would disappear.

But they didn't.

All of this. All of the things that I thought I dreamed of yesterday weren't part of my nightmare.

I was sick.
I really was sick.

Running downstairs, I was about to find my mother, when I remembered that she was gone, already off to her new job.

I was alone again.

I rubbed my eyes once again, observing myself in the mirror with a blank expression.

"You are alright, Eunji. Calm down, okay? Everything's alright. This is alright."
I was trying to reassure myself, forcing myself to look at the big mirror in my room, while talking to myself.

My throat was a lot better and I felt myself being able to breathe freely again, but I was afraid.

Afraid that I was going to cough up flowers again.

Using my inhaler to make sure to not get another asthma attack out of no where, I ruffled my messy hair.

I looked terrible.
My eyes were puffy, I was paler than usual and my throat was red.
It looked like someone beat me up.

"It hurts." I mumbled to myself, gently reaching with my hand to my collar bone down to the area, where the heart sat, as I swallowed hard.

That's when I couldn't help but tear up.
How did I end up like this in the first place?

What did I ever do to deserve any of this?

eunji's p.o.v end

Grieving about her painful fate, wouldn't help her a bit, no matter what she did, so she tried to forget or at least ignore it.

Forget all of it, even if it's just for a short amount of time.

But did it work?
No, her mind didn't leave her alone and continued to terrorise her to the fullest and draining her emotional even more.

The curiosity was killing her and she was more than eager to find out what really was wrong with her.

Spending the whole day scrolling through endless websites, she tried to find a explanation for her body's unusual behaviour.

"Hana..haki disease." Clearing her throat, she started reading the article attentively, when her eyes widened.
"It ends when the beloved...returns their feeling."

Eunji stopped reading, a bitter smile playing her lips as she looked down, feeling hopeless all of a sudden.

"Maybe if Jungwon would like me bac-"
That's when her chest jerkily tightened out of nowhere, making her lean over and cough painfully.

Eunji wasn't prepared. She wasn't.
But somehow she didn't cry this time. She silently let her fate pass over.

"Tulips?" She squinted her eyes, "His favourite.."

Her body curled up to a ball, as she shut her eyes close trying to ignore the pain hovering in her chest, but it was impossible.

"Maybe loving you will actually be a lot more painful than i thought, Yang Jungwon." Eunji muttered to herself and looked away from the screen, where the article was still open.

That's when she remembered.

"The first times are going to hurt the most. Try to distract yourself as much as you can and don't think about it too much. It will be over soon."

Eunji closed her eyes tightly, balling her hands to fists.

"Stop discrediting yourself, because you think you are not enough when you clearly are."

The girl's eyes opened, as a wave of strength and relief washed over her.

"Jungwon..?"
She tried fade out the boy's voice, but it didn't work.

"I'm glad I've got to be the first one then."

The girl was going insane.

But ut was working.
Imagining Jungwon in front of her was enough to distract her from the pain.

"How ironic." She coughed and chuckled slightly before sitting up completely, observing the pretty petals laying on the floor.

This painful illness, this beautiful curse was caused by nothing else than all the feelings she had for Jungwon.

And her innocent little crush turned out to be a lot more than she anticipated it to be.

Though her options weren't great: get surgery, remove all kind of feelings for the Beloved and live or die a slow painful death, she already was sure of her decision at the end of the day.

"Eunji?" The door opened painfully familiar in the same pattern like yesterday evening, as her mother entered the room hesitantly.

Eunji, too tired and exhausted to communicate, hurriedly put the blanket over herself and pretended to sleep.

"You must be tired, right?" She could already feel her mother approaching her bed slowly with steps, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry at you for no reason. I was just...caught off guard when I heard you applied to do a part time job without telling me. I know our situation is upsetting, but we will go back to our normal lives soon."

Eunji shuffled around uncomfortably, knowing very well that her life won't turn normal ever again.

"I will make lots of money for us. We will get through this." The elder gently patted the girl's head and stood up, "Good night, Eunji. I love you."

And the door closed, leaving the girl alone with the silence.

Eunji shook her head and covered her now teary eyes, while feeling embarrassed for all the crying sessions she had these past few days.

"I will make sure.." Eunji smiled to herself, reaching her arm towards the open window, where the moon brightly shined at her, "I will never be a nuisance to you ever again."

By now she was certain..
o̶p̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶g̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶q̶u̶e̶s̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.