III

Part 34

"Harry, it's difficult."
"Why is it? Just tell me." He insisted.
He ran over to my porch knowing I would run inside and hide in my room forever if I had the chance. I didn't move from where I was though.
"Y/N. Tell me. I'm here for you." He said softly, approaching me.
I sat on the railing, facing him. He took my hands, locking his eyes on mine.
"Do you remember the night we thought was our last night in London?"
"A bit. I remember certain things but I can't put a face on that girl."
"Well, you're looking at her." I replied, looking down.
He let go of one of my hands. I didn't know if he was upset, but when his hand made contact with my face, lifting it up for me to look at him, I knew he wasn't.
"It was you?" He whispered.
I nodded.
"Can I try something? I need to know if it was really you."
"Okay." I mumbled.
He took my head in his hands and kissed me. Right there.
"It was you." He breathed when we pulled away.
"I can explain, okay? We were both drunk and-"
"Yeah, I know how the story ends. I just can't believe you took so long to tell me."
"I was afraid of your reaction."
"So that's why you don't want to come to my wedding?"
"No. There's more."
"I'm listening." He smiled, caressing my cheek.
"Brad found out. He suspected we would do something. And he saw the security cameras, found a skirt I stuffed into the pillows of our bed and today when I went to talk to him he just-"
Harry kissed me again.
"I'm explaining the most important part now!" I scolded.
"Sorry, I still wasn't sure if it was you." He smirked.
"So you just interrupted me?"
"You needed to calm down a bit. I know kissing helps you."
"Anyway, he's gonna tell everyone about it if I don't go. I don't want to ruin your marriage."
"I'm not married yet."
"Soon to be." I rolled my eyes.

"And going back to your interruption, you can't kiss me anymore."
"Yeah, the problem is that I still can't remember and maybe kissing you will take me back to that day. I hate myself for not remembering that." He smirked.
"Stop smirking. No kissing. You're getting married, Harry. This isn't a joke. You actually have to commit to this. I'm not your girl either. You just can't kiss me whenever you want." I said, starting to get angry.
"Okay. If that's how you want it."
"It's not that I don't want to. You shouldn't because you've asked her-"
He interrupted me with a kiss once again. I deepened it, but then I pushed him back realizing that I couldn't do this to Casey.
"You wanted to." He breathed.
"Anyone can see us here!" I whisper-yelled.
"Let's go inside then."
"Honestly! Did you cheat on me when we were together?"
"God no! I would have never done that! I loved you too much."
Loved. Past. He doesn't anymore.
I sighed.
"Y/N."
"Have fun at your wedding. I'll see you after." I stated, walking past him and opening my front door.
"I need you, Y/N." He said, before I closed the door.
Why did love hurt so much? Why did I still have to be in love with him?
"Was that Harry you were talking to?" Elliott asked.
He was in the same place I had left him, which made me think that I hadn't been gone long. But it felt like an eternity.
"Yes. I'm not going to the wedding. Good night." I announced, before going upstairs to my room.

~Harry's Wedding Day~

I hadn't talked to Harry in the past days because I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was lovesick.
The boys had called me and sent messages to meet up and see each other. But I refused, knowing Harry would be there also. They were upset but they understood. Liam also wanted me to meet Sophia, who had come for the wedding. But I told him I could meet her another time. I didn't want to be rude, but I wasn't in the mood.
Elliott tried to cheer me up the past week, but all he got was a smile and big hug from me. I couldn't help but think of Harry every single day.
It was my mother's turn too, so she walked in my room that morning.
"Good morning, honey." She said, coming to kiss my forehead.
"Hi." I yawned.
"You know what day it is today, right?"
I nodded.
"Why don't you come? Harry's been very upset these past few days. He needs you on an important day like this."
"I can't, Mum. It's complicated."
"Oh, love. I hope you don't regret this later." She sighed.
I turned my back to her.
"We're going over to Anne's to help out and then we'll be back to get ready."
"Okay. Say hi to Anne and Gemma for me." I heard her leave the room before I started crying.
I had almost fallen asleep when a loud noise woke me up.