The Second Time's the Charm

Chapter Twenty Five

After waking up a few hours later, I checked my phone and I had missed calls from my mom, Alex and Sam.There was no way I was going to ever be able to face Sam. Sam had texted me a few times too. Asking why I left and asking me to call him. There was no way I was doing this over a call so I typed a message: "I'm sorry. I need some time and space away from you..." Before I could finish typing out the message Sam was knocking on my bedroom door.

"Katie? Can we please talk?" I sighed and got up to put on normal clothes. I opened the door and shut it after Sam walked in. "Is everything okay, Katie?"

"No it's not. Nothing is okay. I can't do this with you right now." I said sitting on the bed bringing my knees to my chest.

"Do what? What are you talking about?" He said reaching to place his hand on my leg. I flinched away from him.

"I just lost Justin. This isn't right. I shouldn't be feeling this way towards anyone yet. I shouldn't be sleeping with you this soon after. I feel like I'm disrespecting him in so many ways. I just can't let myself get into this right now. I have Aiden and my entire life to figure out right now." Tears start welling in my eyes again.

"Katie, Justin wouldn't want you to wait forever. He would want you to be happy. I'm not trying to replace him or anything. I can help you with Aiden and help you figure everything out. You have to allow yourself to be happy at some point."

"I can't allow myself to be happy with you. People will think bad things of me. I don't need people saying things to Aiden when he's older." I wipe my tears away.

"Katie, do you have feelings for me?" He placed his hand gently under my chin and lifted it so I was looking into his eyes.

"Yes, Sam. I do have feelings for you. Strong feelings. I've never felt this way about anyone. That's why I can't be with you. It's not right. I shouldn't be able to feel this way. Justin was my true love." I reach up and grab Sam's hand that is under my chin. "I love you so much, Sam. I just need some time. I need to figure everything out on my own."

"Katie, I love you. I can't wait around forever. I'll wait for you as long as I can, but I've already waited 15 years for you. At some point I think that I deserve to find happiness." I watched pain fill his eyes.

"I could never ask you to wait for me, Sam. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. I just want you to know that I do love you and I will try to find my way back to you." More tears started welling in my eyes. My mouth was saying things that I didn't want to say. I didn't want Sam to move on. I wanted to be with Sam more than anything.

"I love you, Katie. I want you to be okay and happy. Take as long as you need." Sam leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly to mine sending sparks through my whole body. I fought the urge to grab him and deepen the kiss. But I let him pull away and give me a sad smile. "I'll see you around, okay?" He said walking to the door.

"Okay." With that Sam left and took what was left of my heart with him. I couldn't be upset or mad at him. I told him to leave. I did this to myself. I lost my first love and forced my second love to leave me. From this moment forward I chose to focus on Aiden and the future I wanted for the both of us. I'll find my way back into Sam's arms someday. I have to. I remember my mom talking about how people have two great loves in their lives. Sam is my second great love. He's my second chance. He will be my second chance at happiness and a family. I need to mend my own heart break and build myself back up so that I can be my best self for Sam. For now I will cry myself to sleep, because I just lost my best friend for a second time. Then I will wake up and focus on loving myself again.