His wife

>the cost of a laughter<

This time I can't smile at what he just said because a part of me knows what he means. Also because he now gets rushed away from the phone, the city they are in right now is being attack. Therefore there is no time to really say goodbye. While looking down I get back into my room and find there two people instead of one.

''Anastasia.'' He says my name as if he was surprised to see me and I merely nod to greet him back.

''Could we please talk?'' Now Swetlana seems extremely interested while she places the magazine down and stares at the lips of her brother fully focused. And if he hadn't ask this question, then I would have. After that night we hadn't talked and there is a lot to talk about now.

''Sure.'' And because Swetlana doesn't seem to get the hint that maybe she should go now, we do and so now we are walking through a nearby garden.

As we walk side by side with still enough space between us, I stare at him. Seems like he really just got back from training because he is still wearing his green-brownish uniform. Softly he glances back at me and shortly afterwards away. This space between us really is filled with awkwardness.

''How was the training?''
''How was your day?''
We ask each other in the same moment which just turns this even more odd. To avoid his glance I stare at all the flowers and plants we walk by while he sighs gently. ''So- uhm, how about we avoid this- whatever and immediatly get to the point?'' In his words I can feel his true self show through; not too much conversation, direct and honest enough that it hurts sometimes.

Because I can feel him trying to get to look me back at him, I just nod before I ask one of the two questions which have been bothering me for a long time now.

''Why do you switch from your unimpressed, bored, direct and honest self to rather cold and demanding and then to rather kind self so quickly?'' To ask this question I stopped walking and so did he and while now I am the one looking at him, he is now the one looking down to avoid eye contact as he seems to figure out how to say his answer.

''I want you to know that I am sorry for- well you know what. You saw all the vodka that I drank and I'm gonna be honest I also drank some tequila at the theatre so I could bear sitting next to your father. What I said while I demanding all these things from you is not what I truly meant and as I heard your reaction I already realized that what I had said was utter bull- manure. And I am mostly always honest, exepct for when I really am wasted, I am unimpressed around everyone and I was nice to you because I meant it.''

Once again now he tries to catch my eyes and I look down because I feel bad for having misjudged him a bit. I knew he was drunk so I maybe shouldn't have been so confused and shocked by his words. Though those said words were simply what I never wanted to hear.

''Okay, I accept your apology and if possible, I'd prefer talking to you you, so the nice version who still is honest and a bit unimpressed.'' Next to me he now laughs a little while I carefully try not to accidentally step on a bug as we continue to walk. ''You think that my real self is nice?'' With sarcasm he tries to hide that he means this question and wants to know the answer but it still peeks through.

''Yes I do, actually I quite strongly believe that. Strong enough to tell it my brother.'' Shyly he nods while I, for the first time, sound both soft and confident. Though I have no idea why I just mentioned my brother, all Vasily knows about him is that Stalin thinks he is so much better than his own son.

''Was he the lieutenant you just talked to on the phone?'' His question makes me believe that he must have heard what a servant told me or Swetlana told him, she enjoys gossiping.