His wife

>crossroad<

21st of September 1943

Auschwitz-Birkenau. Nazi-Germany

After yet another sigh I close my biology book again. Usually focusing is easier for me, though it's been hours that I spent with studying and I just don't have the energy anymore. Another reason could be that I usually am done with my stuff already at this late hour and usually he is already here.

Though this day doesn't seem usual at all. Earlier today I heard from people in the hallway that many new prisoners had arived. The second I heard that I had to swallow hardly, despite me not knowing what their faith is. Though I was certain it had to be worse than what I could imagine.

Suddenly the door to our flat gets opens while I look up from my notes and at him entering. His glance is calm, his doctor's coat stainless white and his hands are still perfectly white gloved. Nothing about his appearance has changed since this morning, nothing but the expression on his lips. When he left this morning he didn't smile, though he didn't seem sad either; it just was neutral.

Now his lips curve into a small smile, a smile which turns bright as he gets closer to me to kiss my lips softly. ''What did you do today?'' While asking this nicely, I lean my chin on the backrest of the chair I am sitting on. ''Just selections.'' Just. As if whatever he did had no meaning at all. Like it was as easy as taking his next breath.

To hear him say this feels like someone just hit a switch in my head and I immediately turn to my notes and text book to ask him ''Can you then please help me with this?'' Calmly he gets up and leans over me to look at my notes saying 'ecology: selections' and then he nods slowly before kissing the top of my head. ''What's your question?'' He doesn't sound as happy as he did just seconds ago but a part of me is relieved that I might be able to answer more questions now than my text books asks.

''What do you do in these selections?'' My innocent voice can't fool him, instantly he stands up straight and starts to touch his face after getting the gloves off. Josef is smart enough to see that I threw him a bait with this and he now overthinks what to say. In this moment he just looks at me, at the determination in my eyes and after a minute passes, he sighs.

''The task is simply about chosing who will work, who is useful for our research and who won't live to see another day.'' My eyes widen as I hear this and yet don't understand it. Clearly I heard what he said but I don't unnderstand it morally. And he said this calmly, even reluctantly a bit, though I think I see how he regrets telling me this the second he looks into my eyes.

''But- that's not right! How...- why?'' With rather quick steps he walks over to me and takes my biology book to read aloud ''The selection, which happens either through abiotic factors or animals themselves, is a process with the purpose of selection out those weaker or those who can't change enough to fit in with the ever changing nature. It's main purpose therefore is to ensure that the race can continue to exist and that the evolution can continue to strenght all form of live, so to make sure that they are able to survive on our ever changing earth.''

My jaw drops as he reads this aloud and as he finishes, I shake my head while getting up and taking the book softly out of his hands to search for another page. ''That is talking about rabits or plants but not humans!'' ''Liebes, we are just animals as well, smarter ones but still animals.'' ''Then listen to this: biodiversity is necessary to ensure that an eco system works and is strengthened, therefore it is important that no monocultures become the usual because those are not only more likely to get pests but also do they in the long run help to destroy the same ground they live on by always only using up the same minerals in the ground.''

He shakes his head while I try to convince him that this is wrong.
''That one is talking about different sorts of life and not races.'' ''Didn't the Führer or Goebbels once say that Jews aren't humans? So they still would be needed for-'' But he did let me continue, instead he sounds more impatient while explaining ''Anna, he said no real humans. The whole selection process is necessary as I just read aloud.''