Keep Holding On

Chapter 18

The familiar scent of peanut dust and stale alcohol met Meredith's nostrils before she even stepped through the threshold. She was so focused on maneuvering the door as carefully as she could, not wanting the bell that hung on the handle to bring attention to herself, that she didn't even notice the fifty plus pair of eyes on her.

"SURPRISE!"

Meredith's hand flew to her mouth as her heart rapidly drummed in her chest. She blinked her eyes, taking a few breaths as the sight before her slowly registered through her shocked mind.

Her friends, new and old, filled every nook and cranny of Joe's bar. Balloons of every color and size had been inflated and positioned festively around the large room. A large banner proclaimed in glittered letters, Happy Birthday Meredith! Elaborate arrangements of flowers decorated the small round tables scattered throughout the bar and even adorned one end of the counter in the front. She noticed large trays of delicious food positioned on rented tables, and confetti replaced the old peanut shells and dust that usually covered the worn wooden floor.

Meredith didn't have time to speak or react before the first of the crowd approached her with a warm hug. Friends and acquaintances, familiar and not, took turns with kind greetings and sincere happy birthdays as Meredith weaved through the group. She smiled and muttered genuine appreciation and gratitude for the overwhelming celebration in her honor. Meredith was cordial and pleasant all the while her eyes searched for the familiar pair of blue ones her body ached for.

She saw almost everyone else from the hospital, but she couldn't spot Derek anywhere. Meredith excused herself from a group of older nurses she'd know from when she first started her internship, when she noticed Mark, George, Alex, and Preston sitting at the bar.

Mark was the first to spot the approaching birthday girl and held his arms open for a warm brotherly hug.

"Happy birthday Kiddo."

"Thanks Mark." Meredith hugged him and looked over his shoulder at the rest of the group when she noticed Hanna for the first time.

Her young daughter sat crossed legged on the counter in front of the other three men, intently working on ridding a small brown peanut of its dusty shell. After victoriously completing the complicated task, she eagerly ate the treat and looked up.

Her face immediately lit up when she saw her mom and she yelled out excitedly. "Happy birthday Mama! This is your party and I helped with the balloons!"

Meredith crossed over to the counter and swept Hanna up in her arms, holding her tight in a hug.

"Thank you Hanna. The balloons look perfect. You did such a good job."

Hanna nodded seriously in complete agreement, causing the small group to break out in laughter at the self-assured four year old.

Meredith sincerely thanked the other men, especially Preston, knowing he was now extremely busy at the University.

Callie wobbled over to join them from the direction of the bathroom and the men evacuated their stools to make room for the two women.

Meredith quickly hugged Callie and the two made small talk about the delayed arrival of Baby O'Malley and how she and George anxiously expected a bundle of joy any day. Meredith did her best to focus on the conversation, but couldn't help her gaze from wandering around the room, expecting a handsome man to pop out of nowhere and flash his dreamy smile.

Cristina and Izzie finally joined the group and Meredith hugged them both gratefully as well. Everything about the night was perfect. The food, the drinks, the decoration, even the company. But something was missing and it tugged at Meredith's heart. Derek wasn't there.