Life Line (a Neptune Royal Series novel) Book #1

Chapter 8: Protecting Love

Chapter 8.

Protecting Love

What was I thinking, walking away from him without hearing his explanation? I knew that he was lying but he just did not want to admit it. Or the fact that I never did let him have a chance to admit it to me made me feel terrible. Normally, I give people chances to explain themselves, but this time, I did not hesitate to walk away. I will admit that my emotions and moods have been on the fritz lately since they change in almost the blink of an eye. That was something that I was trying to control, but it always seemed to get the best of me every time.

The one thing that hurt me the most was that Sam had promised me that he would never lie to me. I guess that is probably what set me off. Him breaking his promise. It just hurt me walking away more than I thought it would. During school, I just felt empty and unwilling to talk to anyone. I have to admit, I was harsh on him. I have told lies, lord knows that I have told too many to count in a single lifetime, but I admit to them. What did he really want to tell me?

During APUSH, I was happy that we had a sub who popped in a history on the screen for us to watch. I wasn't in the mood for a movie but was glad since I was a bit too depressed to sing today. Normally I would push past the fact that I wasn't feeling good or was in a bad mood to enjoy anything, but today, that was not going to happen. As the movie was playing and the lights disappeared from sight without shining on the bright, white walls, I rubbed my aching temples at all of the loud noises that I heard as I was listening to every sound that resided within the school walls. My ears became sensitive as all of the sounds came together into a jumble. I began to focus around the school, searching for a sound that would make me hurt, but one that would give me the strength to listen.

Moving from room to room around the building, none of the sounds were the ones that I was looking for. I sighed in annoyance and leaned against the metal poles that were on the backs of the risers. The cold began to sooth my headache, but not my broken heart. I knew that hiding my true self would come back to bite me in the butt. I had no idea that hiding it would be this hard. If I could take it all back, what I said and showed to Sam, I would. To me, it has done nothing but cause problems and make new questions emerge from the shadows. It was a relief to finally tell someone, but that feeling is getting the best of me. I know that I take advantage of some people from time to time, but this was getting to be too much. Not just for me, but for Sam as well. I could sense his anxiety when he saw it...me. I have remembered that exact feeling in case I needed to find him, but I couldn't find his emotions or sounds anywhere.

The way I saw it was that I could tell him anything. Hell, I told him EVERYTHING. I guess I just felt a little betrayed that he did not tell me everything. Some things are best left well alone, but I hoped that he would trust me enough. I closed my eyes and listened to the musical while letting myself slip deeper into the darkness of the room. Once the bell rang, ending the second class of the day, I remained in the room as everyone else gathered their things and walked out the two sets of double doors at each end of the room. The sub exited the room along with the students, heading towards the teachers' lounge on the other end of the building. I sighed and opened my eyes once more. Standing up from the hard chair of the desk, I walked out of the room and headed downstairs to the music room needing some solitude right about now.

Ignoring all of the conversations as I walked through the hall, I turned the knob of the door. No one was in the room. A sigh of relief escaped my lungs. I placed my bag on the risers and strolled over to the piano, lightly placing my left hand on a few of the white, polished keys. Pressing one of them down, I stood up straight, letting the soft, but firm high note wash over me.

Sitting down on the bench, I brought my right hand towards the keys and began playing a few notes. Letting some of the random notes fade, I began playing a tune that I always loved. It was very soothing to let the song echo off the walls and bounce towards my heart. Soon after the intro of the song ended, I began to hum the words without a syllable leaving my mouth. I took a slight glance up at the wall, looking to see what the time was. I still had about fifteen minutes left of the lunch period until my calculus class was to begin. The tune was soft, powerful in its form, but still elegant.