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-WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON-
Wanting and Needing.
One always being confused with the another, and both possibly being mistaken for the latter. They were two topics that intertwined like twisted tree roots that jumbled over another; it was a messy, befuddling topic to meander about. A forest filled with overgrown branches and unanswered questions that you could get lost in. To me, the answer seemed rather unambiguous.
Wanting, wasn't always necessary. Wanting, could be selfish and insensitive. Wanting, could be any type of indulgence for countless purposes.
But needing... Truly needing something. That was a far-out question.
When do you really need something or someone?
When does it ever appear in one's mind that there is something you need for yourself?
What does it take for someone to finally need something that has been calling their name for far too long, possibly something that they have been ignoring?
And of course, that always depended on the topic, it depended on the subject, on what's at stake and what's at hand. Whatever you gain or whatever you lose.
What makes this 'simple' topic so fuzzy and hilariously frustrating, is that I found why the roots have been tumbled, why the growth of the tree in my mind had been stunted. I had finally figured out that I could potentially be right in the middle, the gray area of wanting and needing.
Jeon Jungkook, a strange man for sure.
What's even more odd is that when I look at him, that gray area seems to widen from a narrow strip into a large pool, gouging into my thought patterns without any remorse.
And that's where I was left.
Where I was left to decide for myself if Jungkook was someone I wanted... Or if he was someone I needed in life.
I had tried a few times to comprehend who Jungkook really was on the inside. And now that I've gotten a glimpse, it was relentless. The idea, the topic, the words never leaving my head.
Who was Jungkook to me?
Did I need him?
Did I want him?
And if either of those are determined in the future...
Would it be so cruel and selfish to feel those things?
