Like Chalk And Cheese [Completed]

And Again

I couldn’t stop thinking about what he had said all night. Drifting off to sleep was already a burdensome task here, I kept tossing and turning for hours before I could snooze off. Nimra and I used to sleep in the same room actually, even though we had our own separate ones, but spending the night alone, honestly, was a bit scary. When we grew up and were given our rooms, we tried the first night but couldn’t ignore the silence and the eerie clouds drifting outside the window, the seclusion closing in on us, so Nimra snuck into my room telling me she couldn’t sleep. The night after that, when she didn’t come, I went to her myself, telling her I couldn’t sleep. And so began the custom and soon everybody got to know about it too. 

Baba Jaan offered one of us to move in completely with the other, but we couldn’t do that because there is always some stuff we need privacy for, and for Nimra it included painting too. So there was that. We used to lie close to each other, and sometimes even snuggle under the blanket when it was cold. And now, in this hugely spacious room, on this giant four-poster bed, I reclined, jittery and restless until my mind exhausted and shut down on itself. 

And in all that, the thoughts just wouldn’t shut up now. 

So why did Agha Hasan say he appreciated and was grateful for my presence? What did he intend to do? How long were we going to live like this - in separate rooms and ignoring the sealed fact of our relationship? Who knew how long it was going to take for Baba Jaan and Agha Jaan to learn the truth, it could very well be years as it could be just a week. How long was he going to restrain himself from getting married for real? And if he did, what would Agha Jaan say and do?  It was time Agha Hasan would want to start his family, wasn’t it? 

I wondered if I should ask him. But then I decided against it for it meant treading on dangerous territory. I  was never going to initiate a conversation on this matter myself, never. But was it really better to ignore the issue than to address and then solve it for real? 

God, my life was so messed up.  Maybe I shouldn’t worry about it and instead focus on my coming studies and let things move on as they were supposed to, and leave it completely to Allah. 

But, argh, I just couldn't stop obsessing over  him lately.  

---

“Did your mother not respond to the letter?” He asked me the next morning as he picked up his briefcase from the table, ready to head out.

“Nope.” I replied, wearing a forlorn expression. I stood by the glass doors, intending to see him out and watch as his car would drive out.

“I wonder why. Agha Jaan’s pride should have given us some space to breathe now that I crushed mine in front of him.”

My eyebrows went up and I let my arms drop down to my sides from where I had them crossed against my chest. “Why? What did you do?”

“Oh, I just went to ask for some loan.” He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I bet he couldn’t be more smug in his life.”

“How’s everything at work now?”  I asked and as I remembered I made a mental note to inquire about the break in that night too.

“I’m managing.” He said with a smile and my lips curled up instinctively. 

“Thank God.” 

“See you in the evening, and if you need anything, let Amir know, would you?”

“Mhm.” I bobbed my head in a nod. 

“Also, when is your university starting again?”