Like Chalk And Cheese [Completed]

Shit, no!

Hasan

Fucking shit. What was I even thinking? I felt like a hypocrite to myself to be honest.  And damn, I hadn’t ever felt this confused in my entire life.

Who was I even kidding when I told her to live just like friends - myself? - and expect nothing more -  not that she would, I had initially thought. Not take the relationship seriously? What a joke! At times, whenever I wasn’t preoccupied with work, it was the only thing I could think about. God, the girl had everything I’d wanted in a life long partner, I’d have definitely wanted it to work had the bond between us been tied in normal circumstances, and if she was a bit older as well.

Infact, I think I might have introduced her to my room if she was, forced it might still have been for both of us, but at least she would have been old enough to get married, and would have been ready for what marriage entails. And if I hadn’t proceeded with the relationship then too, I think I’d have denied both of us the peace in life. But now, she still had years infront of her till she could be considered over age for marriage, and until then I’m quite sure her parents would learn the truth of her innocence, as she emphasized, and would make me divorce her. So the reservations as of then, didn’t really apply to the conditions of today. I had no excuse to go ahead with her, and I didn’t even want to because of how young she was. And yet sometimes, I felt my heart divert the other way.

The condition for living under the same roof that I proposed to her, was more for myself than I had meant it for her. Because then I didn’t think she could even want anything to do with the entire marriage fiasco. I was quite taken aback when I recognized the unease and the nervousness of her posture, and the anxious glint to her eyes when she pointed out the girls back at the ice-cream parlour, as if their gestures were highly reprehensible. I wasn’t a fool to not realize what she was leaning for, and it unsettled me if anything. No matter if one of the reservations in my list was unticked, my major issue was still her age and by the looks of it, Warda herself didn’t know the problems related to it. Apart from all that, there was another reason I couldn’t give her a go ahead.

Though all I could do to turn my back was to turn a little too cold for her liking, given that my kindness could be the only reason she was drawing towards me. Looks didn’t count, for women weren’t stupid enough to give in to men that only had good looks. What I achieved through this approach was for Warda to start believing that I wasn’t such a good husband material after all, and that she didn’t have to accept the relationship now that she was already  tied and didn’t have anything to lose from it too.

What I hadn’t anticipated was for her to get all distraught because of it. As far as hating me and saying all that stuff she did was concerned - with calling me a bastard she did go overboard I believe and it did piss me off a little -  it was expected, but to be miserable all over again, it just made me feel alot worse. Seemed like I really did take the only good thing in her life away from her. And it made me a bastard for doing that, but I believed I was doing her a benefit.

But as the muffled sounds of her sobs escaped through the door and reached me in the tv area, I couldn’t help the budding ache erupting in my head, not knowing what to do. I rarely smoked, scratch that, I only smoked when under a lot of stress and right now, it was the second cigarette in just half an hour that I was discarding in the ashtray. Ironic how I told Reeba all those years ago that a woman would never be one of my primary worries unless I was married - let alone a girl- and here I was today. A scoff escaped my lips as I reclined my back against the couch,  and spread my legs up on the table. Whatever happened to my preferences anyway.

Seemed like Agha Jaan had once again managed to imprison me in a mess.

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As much as I was adamant on not allowing anyone to skip one’s meals, since it didn’t undo the problems, I still didn’t make an effort to call her up for breakfast. While it would certainly make me look like a hypocrite all the more, I was sure this time round she wouldn’t succumb to my summons herself. Hence it was needless to even try.